how to fail

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june (in july)

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Sorry for the long pause between posts, my friends. It’s been A Time and the month I have to catch you up on feels very far away now!

If I had to sum up June 2023 neatly it would be - joyous, vibrant, fun, varied and but also pretty relentless. We were very busy (and still are!) with limited time to decompress in between work, travel and various other things, but managed lots of fun as well.

The highlight of June was, without a doubt, our second slightly spontaneous trip to Melbourne, the main purpose of which was to attend an incredibly intimate, joyful and colourful wedding. I’m sure most of you will recognise the bride - if not, she is my Melbourne sister and old blogging friend, Ashley! She was radiant in a cloud of peach tulle and a floral headdress, both of which she made herself. The dress code for the wedding was “maximum dopamine: wear whatever makes you happy” and Tom and I needed no encouragement to bring out something bright and eye-catching!

A friend took this photo with a Snapchat filter….my makeup wasn’t that flawless in real life. Nor was Tom’s, haha.

It was lots of fun taking the train to the wedding, all colourful and dressed up! The dress code for the hen’s night (which was on the day we flew in!) was also colourful, so yet another opportunity for me to wear my favourite Keshet jumpsuit.

The wedding was on a perfect, glorious early winter’s day - the sun shone, the piles of leaves twinkled in the golden light, and a full moon rose over the city like a blessing. I’m so glad we could be there to celebrate Ash and Michael!

Reconnecting with Ash has been a wonderful part of moving home. She has always inspired me, for different reasons at different times in our lives. These days, she inspires me to live boldly, to be generous, to let people be who they are, to be brave and take up space, to indulge my creativity and express myself without fear, to be audacious and live with joy. I love that, after all these years, both our stories are still being written.

The rest of the visit was just about enjoying Melbourne, and seeing some wonderful friends we hadn’t managed to see the week before. We felt like absolute jet setters compared to just two years ago when Tasmania’s borders were closed to all and sundry. We even went to our first live gig since the pandemic (not counting MONA FOMA, which was all outdoors) - the Nadav Rahman Trio at Jazz Lab in Brunswick, which was simply outstanding. The trio blended jazz with other styles quite effortlessly - soul singer Jag joined them for a few songs, likewise hip-hop artists Thamson P and Tumi the Be who were mesmerising. Their other special guests included Ethopian jazz legend Nhatty Man and kora player Amadou Suso. I honestly felt like I was in Addis Ababa at one point, I felt utterly transported by their incredible music. What a treat!

With our dear friends - and I just noticed what’s on Tom’s bag. Hilarious! 😂

Mostly, we just loved being with our friends who feel like family, eating good food, shopping till we dropped, going back to favourite restaurants and bars where they recognised us from the last visit (!), and just soaking up the great vibes of a city we both adore. Thanks to our two recent trips, Tom and I both feel like we’ve got to know Melbourne properly again. It felt like our city again - we embraced its energy and found our place in it. We felt at home there in a way neither of us has felt for a while.

Having said that, we were also deeply relieved to get home to Hobart! We are still recovering from the hectic, high stress, constant cortisol life we had in London (family, friends and delivery people alike are highly amused by how we keep everything LOCKED at all times!) and so we do find the busier, more crowded aspects of a giant city a little jarring at times, much as we love a change of scene and energy. After four days of Melbourne’s crowds and general busy-ness, the smell of the pure, clean air that blew into our faces as we walked off the tarmac at the airport, freezing as it was, was a tonic. There is no place like Tassie. It suits us down to the ground for where we’re at right now. And now that life has pretty much returned to how it was before, we can finally, perhaps, get to know and enjoy Hobart in the same way we enjoy Melbourne. We had barely begun to explore and find our feet in it when the pandemic swept in just over a year after we arrived. Adventures don’t have to be saved for a trip interstate, we’ve realised.

OTHER LOVELY EXPERIENCES IN JUNE

We were too busy with work to get out to any of Dark Mofo this year, but enjoyed seeing Hobart glow with red lights, as has become the custom.

As mentioned, there wasn’t a lot of down time once we returned from Melbourne (hello simultaneous client and PhD deadlines!) but I managed to get to a Women’s Circle gathering one Saturday afternoon, which was amazing and much needed. The leaders, two young women from Sydney now living in Tassie, showed up for us so generously and wholeheartedly, taking us through qi gong, yin yoga, 1:1 eye gazing, yoga nidra and some other deep connection practices. Three hours of filling the well, catching my breath, of being still. It was glorious.

And just when I thought nothing could top the experience, at the end one of the young women leading the circle came up to me and said “you wrote The Latte Years, didn’t you?” which was completely unexpected and made my day. I think both of us were in a bit of disbelief! I was completely floored that, seven years on, someone would still be thinking about my book and the impact it had on them, let alone recognise me. It still kind of blows my mind that anyone other than my friends and family bought and read it! She said some really kind and beautiful things to me, which I folded away into my heart to bring out again when courage runs low. I have wondered many times over the years if publishing that book was the right thing to do. But in moments like that one, I know that it was. It’s a book that needed to exist and I’m glad it does.

Reading

I didn’t do a lot of reading in June - almost everything was exclusively PhD related, unsurprisingly! But I did read a handful of amazing books when I wasn’t chained to the computer.

I don’t think I’ve ever read a book about mental illness that’s as compelling as Anna Spargo-Ryan’s A Kind of Magic. It managed to be hilarious one moment and utterly heartbreaking the next - full of pain and confusion yet somehow uplifting. There is a lot of misunderstanding and misinformation out there about mental illness - so much so that those suffering from it have to become experts so they can advocate for themselves and have any hope of appropriate treatment. This book is the author’s attempt to show what it’s really like to live with the ‘constant chaos’ of it. It’s a real page turner, beautifully written and strikes just the right note between raw and hopeful.

Madeleine Dore’s excellent I Didn’t Do The Thing Today was another of my June reads, recommended by Kate Mildenhall when I did an online class with her in May. I really liked how the book focused on encouraging the reader to think less about how to get things done and more about what things are worth doing (to you), using lots of wisdom from the great thinkers of history and quite a few contemporary intellectuals too. Worth seeking out if you’re feeling like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew and are a bit overwhelmed by All The Things.

Tom also got me Maira Kalman’s The Principles of Uncertainty for my birthday (among a veritable pile of other books!) which I read in June and it was as delightful as everyone says.

Vulture: ‘Poor, Odd Nate’, Nick Mohammed ends three seasons of Ted Lasso with a friendly debate about his character - we rewatched the entire series of Ted Lasso in June and I really loved hearing Nick Mohammed’s take on things. I found Nate much more sympathetic on a rewatch than I did watching it live!

Women’s Agenda: Succession’s tragic take on women and leadership - I enjoyed this and agree, gender doesn’t explain everything about Succession’s ending but it does explain some of it!

Too Fat To Run: founder Julie Creffield has sadly closed down this wonderful movement but in this very articulate and highly relatable post, she explains why. It reminded me a lot of my reasons for stopping Skinny Latte Strikes Back.

State Library of New South Wales: Novelist Michelle Cahill brings a marginalised character back to the centre - a fascinating-sounding novel and novelist! I was particularly intrigued by Cahill and her interviewer Neha Kale’s discussion of Virginia Woolf and how the exclusion of non-white women from A Room of One’s Own (a “sacred cow” of white feminism) points to “a persisting violence in Woolf’s legacy”. I’ve just ordered Hood Feminism as I really want to learn more about this.

The Guardian: I smell a whiff of 2000s fat-shaming in the air. If you’ve never spoken out against it, now is the time by Rebecca Shaw - a very timely and important read.

Listening to

A client of ours is a local musician and I spent a lot of June helping him with a project, and had his debut album (yet to be released!) on for inspiration on repeat in the background. I can’t wait to help spread the word about it once it’s out - it’s a real beauty.

Another Winchmore client (and friend!), Mezz Coleman released her third single from her upcoming album in June, and it’s stunning.

I am addicted to the Bad Sisters original soundtrack by PJ Harvey and Tim Phillips - it’s perfect for writing dramatic, juicy, slightly macabre scenes.

The Mel Robbins Podcast: The ‘Let Them’ Theory, Happiness is an Option for You: 4 Easy Habits That Make Your Life Better Based on Research and 4 Simple Ways To Stop Giving A Sh*t What People Think

The Garret: Pip Williams on writing commercial historical fiction

How to Fail: Diana Evans on writing routines, dealing with her inner critic and living life to the fullest

Best Friend Therapy: Co-dependency and Perfectionism

The Great Creators with Guy Raz: Jason Sudeikis: His Winding Path from the Basketball Court to SNL, and how Ted Lasso saved him

Eating

Pumpkin curry with tofu - I was amazed to learn that if you boil tofu cubes for a few minutes, it gives it a texture similar to paneer, YUM!

A stir fry based on our favourite “Mostly Greens” from Veggie Bar in Melbourne, made with Tasmanian-made tempeh which is absolutely delicious.

I made Jamie Oliver’s chickpea and leek soup, to which I added my usual flamboyant twist - in this case, pink peppercorns.

Deliciously Ella’s harissa tofu wraps - I treated myself to her Feel Better app for my birthday and there’s some great recipes on there. This is one of our favourites so far.

Anna Jones’ broccoli on toast - seriously delicious! It makes a lovely light dinner too if you fancy something a bit more posh on toast than cheese or a can of baked beans.

I bought a bunch of beetroot at the Farm Gate Market so was looking for unusual ways to use them - I made a beetroot hummus (from the Feel Better app) and a surprisingly good beetroot pasta (I used cashew cheese instead of feta).

As I mentioned in my last post, I picked up one of my favourite Youtuber’s cookbooks while we were in Melbourne and the first recipe I made from it was the lemongrass coconut tofu which was sublime!

Drinking

My brother-in-law gave me this chilli gin to try - I loved the spicy warmth of it but at 58% proof, I could only manage half my glass of a double shot with tonic before I felt completely sozzled. That’s what cutting back on your drinking does to you! But highly recommended regardless, especially for a Tasmanian winter. It was delicious.

Watching

Bad Sisters (Apple TV+) - Tom and I got into this in a big way and chewed through the entire series very quickly. I’m a sucker for anything with lots of sisters in it (obviously), and this one was fabulous, despite it containing extremely dark subject matter (which, even though I enjoyed it very much, still kept me awake at night). The first episode opens with the funeral of John Paul (aka The Prick, as the Garvey sisters refer to him), husband of Grace. We’re not given much information at this point, only some hints that his death might have been suspicious. As we’re introduced to Grace’s four sisters - Eva, Ursula, Bibi and Becka - it becomes apparent that no one is that devastated about John Paul’s passing. It turns out that John Paul thoroughly deserved his nickname - he was a controlling and cruel narcissist who was emotionally and physically abusive to pretty much every woman in his life, especially his wife, daughter and sisters in law.

As the story unfolds cleverly in two timelines - six months earlier and the present - we see each of the Garvey sisters reaching breaking point with John Paul’s cruelty and manipulation, not just of their sister Grace but what he dishes out to each of them personally. I think the only way I was able to stomach and enjoy the series was knowing that karma eventually got him! Each of the sister’s attempts to help Grace and talk to her about her husband achieves nothing, and the four sisters decide, separately and eventually together, that the only way out is murder. And we know, thanks to the opening scenes, that one of their many, often misfired, attempts to kill him succeeds. The question is….whose?

Unfortunately for the sisters, a few other people suspect the death was not an accident. Desperate to not have to pay out a life insurance policy that will bankrupt his firm, somewhat hapless agent Tom Claffin and his attractive and less hapless brother Matt start digging into what happened. Their antics bring some much needed comedy and lightness to the story!

It’s brilliantly written, acted and shot, with a killer (sorry) soundtrack that I can’t stop listening to. I will definitely watch it again at some point…but maybe not at night!

Ted Lasso (Apple TV+) - we had watched the entire series as it was released over the past few years, but we decided, as we enjoyed the finale so much, to binge watch the entire thing again in June and boy was that a great decision! I think it’s one of the greatest TV shows ever made. The perfect thing to watch and unwind with when you’re busy and stressed. It’s so rare to see a show like this that turns traditional masculinity on its head, that’s about the importance of emotional intelligence, forgiveness, vulnerability and curiosity (as opposed to judgement). I think it will be one of those shows I will watch and rewatch forever.

Wearing

I went a bit crazy in ELK’s Melbourne CBD store and make no apologies for it. Their clothes are colourful, gorgeous to wear and ethically made - what more could you want? I have barely stopped wearing this dress and this jumper since our trip. I also got a top from Variety Hour, where all the clothes are handmade in Melbourne. Love!

I also got these high-top sneakers after lusting after and attempting to recreate some of Rebecca’s outfits on Ted Lasso - obviously I could never afford the Armani ones she wore, but these were a great alternative! I love the extra height they give me (I’m already quite tall) and they work with dresses and jeans alike.

Quote of the MONTH

“Stop measuring days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence.” - Alan Watts.

But also….

“Revenge is a dish best served in a novel.” - Helen Ellis

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! Lots to tell you about JULY too, which I can’t believe is nearly over, and which I will try and do sooner rather than later. Trying to remember an entire month of stuff, nearly two months later, has been a bit of a test for my usually excellent memory. I’m sure there’s loads of stuff I’ve forgotten!

I hope you are well, safe and happy, wherever you are xx

Please note: this blog post has affiliate links with retailers such as Booktopia which means I may receive a commission for a sale that I refer, at no extra cost to you.

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this week

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Autumn has most definitely arrived in Tasmania. We woke up to snow on the mountain on Wednesday, and while I sipped this glass of Chardonnay, as it was a warm afternoon, yellow and rust-coloured leaves danced on the pavement outside in the breeze.

Favourite experience/s of the week

I’m an unofficial writer in residence at an old building in the city - the same building my main character lived and worked in in the 1820s - and spent a happy afternoon there working on my book. Afterwards, I met a friend for a wine and long overdue in-person catchup. We met at a media launch in 2019 and might have had every reason to lose touch because of the pandemic, but regardless of everything she’s had going on, she’s made time for me regularly over the last few years and that warms my heart no end.

I also loved being on campus this week for International Women’s Day where our school had an afternoon tea for staff and HDRs and it felt so wonderful to see people in the flesh again after so long. The campus feels alive again, in a way I haven’t witnessed for three years now…almost to the day.

I had a pretty good run on Thursday too, the morning after overnight rain. The smell of wet gum leaves was quite incredible, not to mention mind clearing.

Another of the week’s highlights was going round to spend an evening with my sister and her family. Her daughter, who is three, utterly adorable and heavily into Frozen, sang us most of the soundtrack. I held back tears watching her sing (and take a bow at the end as we applauded!) - not just because she’s so sweet and expressive, but her innocence, the complete innocence of all young children, just undoes me.

Reading

I adored Minnie Darke’s latest contemporary romance With Love From Wish & Co - as she’s a Tasmanian writer, the setting always feels quite Hobart (and therefore very cosy) to me. This was a delightful escapist read - Marnie is a young entrepreneur desperate to buy back her grandfather’s old store, currently in the hands of her cold and distant uncle with a grudge against her deceased father. She makes a career-ruining mistake with one of her best clients, throwing his 40-year marriage into jeopardy. He offers to help her try to buy back the family store, if she will work her magic and help him win his wife back. It’s whimsical and full of heart, and I just loved it.

A wonderful interview on Kate Forsyth’s website with the writer Alison Croggon, whom I always knew as the blogger behind theatre notes, a popular and acclaimed Australian theatre blog in the 2000s. I loved it when I lived in Melbourne and I loved it when I lived abroad, it helped me keep a somewhat steady finger on my country’s cultural pulse. I am so intrigued now to read her latest book, a hybrid memoir called Monsters. A lot of what Alison said in the interview I can really relate to. I think a book similar to hers might be in my writing future!

Lit Hub: Clare Pooley on Writerly Perseverance and Knowing When To Give Up and I’m also a subscriber to LitHub’s wonderful newsletter The Craft of Writing which this week featured one of my favourite writers, Xiaolu Guo on translating the self. I adore anything Guo writes and was intrigued to hear that this was an excerpt from a forthcoming anthology, Letters to a Writer of Color edited by Deepa Anappara and Taymour Soomro. Having looked at the contents and contributor list, I am so curious to read this once it’s out!

I absolutely devoured Julietta Singh’s No Archive Will Restore You in barely a day. One of my supervisors got me on to a fascinating hybrid genre of thought experiments centred around the theme of the archives - works that blend memoir, poetry, historiography and essay. This book is one of them and is so personal yet also embedded in the literature and theory of the body, subjectivity, and identity. Singh considers her body, aware of it “as both archive and archivist” (p.32), and poetically catalogues its legacies of pain, sexuality and desire, the “feral moan of childbirth” (p.70), identity and race, and finally, the unconscious, the “the most evasive archive of all” (p.97). It reminded me that our bodies hold historical traces of everything that has happened to them, everything that has gone in and come out. We are everything we have experienced. I found it absolutely fascinating and quite unputdownable. And I love the sound of the publisher, punctum books, too, for their tagline is spontaneous acts of scholarly combustion.

A favourite poem.

The Thesis Whisperer: Preparing for a binge-writing session (this will be me very soon) - I highly recommend this website to all PhD candidates. I subscribed to it perhaps in my very first week back in 2019 and Inger’s generous wisdom has been very reassuring over the years!

Sydney Review of Books: Jessie Cole on Art as Love

Finally - OMG, I cannot wait for this book! And this one!

Listening to

My nouveau pour l’écriture playlist

Katie Wighton’s new single Narcissist - absolute banger of a track and great official video too!

Tom and I have been working with our friend and indie Melbourne musician Mezz Coleman on her forthcoming album release - the first single has dropped and it’s amazing! We’re pretty proud of the artwork, I took the photo and Tom did the rest!

How to Fail: Rick Astley - really enjoyed this interview with an icon of 1980s music who would have every reason in the world to have a big head but he really doesn’t. Also Margaret Atwood on wisdom, witchcraft and womanhood - any interview with Margaret is bound to be wonderful, I listened to this one on my run and felt her strength push me on, up the inclines.

Best Friend Therapy - Inside the therapy room - what it’s like to be a therapist, how to find a good one and lots more.

Picking

Our neighbour texted me to say come round, pick whatever I wanted - I didn’t need to be asked twice! I came round with a small bowl, which she took one look at and replied, “go home and get a bigger bowl!” She very kindly gave me some 4kg of tomatoes, some zucchini and cucumbers, as well as a bag of rocket and dill.

I picked some of my own zucchini (the only one left that the possums hadn’t got at! Well, I hope it’s possums. The other possibility is too ghastly to contemplate), silverbeet, rhubarb and strawberries. The wind picked a lemon for me! And I picked all the ripe figs on my tree and left them on my neighbour’s doorstep. A few days later, more have ripened.

Eating

Rather than preserve all the tomatoes my neighbour gave me, I’m trying to cook with them all instead. Hence, our diets will be quite high in lycopene for the forseeable!

I made this Nigel Slater tomato pasta recipe but I found it a bit…grassy. I think that was my olive oil! The grassiness was remedied by plenty of nutritional yeast.

I also made Nigel’s tomatoes and couscous recipe from his A Cook’s Book which I ended up making with rice instead of couscous because I didn’t have enough….and only checked this once I had embarked upon the roasting of the tomatoes. I will never learn. But the citrus spiced rice from Elly Pear’s Green was a lovely accompaniment - and the citrus was my lemon from my own tree. Though I’m not sure how the recipe is meant to serve 6-10. It served me and Tom, with no leftovers!

Two more recipes from Elly Pear’s Green cookbook for seasonal produce - Piedmont peppers (red capsicums stuffed with tomatoes and garlic, and roasted) and zucchini agrodolce. Both eaten with rocket salad and bread for lunch.

My zucchini and butter bean soup, the perfect vehicle for the giant, more marrow-like zucchini and all the lovely soft herbs from my neighbour’s garden. The green chilli I used was from a bag in the freezer of chillies my lovely beautician Lisa gave me last autumn!

Some lovely Deliciously Ella recipes including a sweet potato and lentil stew and a tofu chickpea korma.

An epic lasagna made from ragu I had in the freezer from last year, and we made the pasta dough fresh using this recipe. This fed us for three dinners and reminded me of how delicious and comforting lasagna is - I must make it again very soon!

A three-fruit crumble made with rhubarb and strawberries from my garden, and apples from my aunt’s garden. Eating it reminded me that there are many consolations of it getting colder and darker.

The Full Vegan of course made an appearance at the weekend, with sausages, and I managed to have one of my favourite silken tofu bowls on a less cold morning!

Lots of plans for the rest of the tomatoes in the coming week - including a tomato and cashew pilaf which I’ve cooked before and really enjoyed. Though, after reading quite a bit of Nigel Slater, I am now of course craving potatoes and wishing those were ready in my garden right now. I suspect I will have to wait a few more weeks at least.

Drinking

Quite a bit of Chardonnay.

I also had the most incredible cold drink at Hobart institution (and all vegan, I was surprised to learn!) Bury Me Standing - the Grandma Barb, which is iced coffee with vanilla. It sounds simple but it was like drinking a (I want to say warm, but it was iced!) hug. Tom tasted it and immediately regretted not getting one too!

Watching

We decided to go with an absurdist theme for our weekend viewing, and started with Noah Baumbach’s adaptation of Don DeLillo’s White Noise (Netflix). Personally I can never resist a Greta and Noah film, regardless of who’s directing or acting - I know it will make me think and laugh. I studied White Noise as an undergrad and was surprised by how much I loved it (a rare thing for assigned texts, I found). Having not read the book since I was 18, I was intrigued to see how much of it I’d remember.

Set in 1984, White Noise centres around Jack Gladney, a professor of Hitler Studies (a field of study he invented, his colleague wants to do the same with Elvis Presley) at a small college, who lives with his wife Babette and their blended family - it’s the fourth marriage for both. Almost immediately, the film’s themes of consumerist domination of our culture and fear of death are apparent - the supermarket is a central setting for many key scenes, bright and dazzling and confusing, urging people to buy now, buy more. Jack and Babette (played brilliantly by Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig) have their idiosyncrasies and quirks, but mostly their life with their startlingly mature and insightful children is quite idyllic. This is shattered by an “air-borne toxic event” - a train collision with an oil tanker releases toxic chemicals into the air near their town (scarily quite similar to the Ohio train derailment which happened just last month) and they must evacuate their home. Almost instantly, we see the children remaining calm and more knowledgeable about what is going on while the adults panic, finding they can no longer contain their deep fears about death and struggle to cope with the impending doom. It turns out much has been going on for Jack and Babette without the other knowing.

It’s (unsurprisingly) noisy, hard to follow at times, funny, moving, well acted and terrifyingly prescient in some respects. Most of all, it’s about how we try to keep the chaos of life, and our fears of death, large-scale ruin and destruction, at bay by filling our lives with, you guessed it, white noise. And shopping.

“Well, if you liked that, you will have no trouble following tomorrow’s film,” Tom remarked as the end credits rolled!

Everything Everywhere All At Once (4K BluRay) was one of the most creative, mind-bending films I’ve possibly ever seen. It’s weird, daring, fantastical, and very funny but its beating heart is the universal search for love, belonging and meaning. I absolutely loved it.

Evelyn Quan Wang (played by Michelle Yeoh) is a middle-aged immigrant whose life is both mundane and spinning out of control. She runs a laundromat with her husband, Waymond (Ke Huy Quan) who feels increasingly lonely and disconnected from his wife, even going so far as to prepare divorce papers. Two decades prior, they were full of hope and passion, for life and each other, when they eloped to the United States where their daughter, Joy (Stephanie Hsu), was born. Life in the US has entailed a lot of hard work and sacrifice for them both, and now they are being audited by the IRS - something that would give anyone anxiety and sleepless nights. To top it off, Evelyn’s father (James Hong) is visiting for the first time in years which is also putting the family on edge.

Not quite the setting for an epic kung-fu adventure in the multiverse, right? WRONG.

From hotdog fingers, to googly-eyed rocks, the everything Bagel and some impressive martial arts, this is a film that is not only visually stunning and imaginative, but it embraces its wackiness and takes the audience along for the ride. You can tell that every member of the cast had a ball being involved. It’s worth watching for Jamie Lee Curtis alone, who is almost unrecognisable and incredibly funny. We’ve all known a Deirdre. And even she is humanised!

Everything is put together with care and passion, and the performances, particularly Michelle Yeoh’s, are just stunning. Underneath all the dazzling visuals and kooky-ness of the parallel universes is a simple story of a family struggling to connect with each other. It’s about living with regrets, unmet needs, dreams you didn’t dare to have. It’s about how love and kindness are so very healing.

Ann Lee at The Guardian has discussed why it deserves Best Picture at the Oscars and I also enjoyed seeing a therapist decode and react to the film. UPDATE: It cleaned up at the Oscars, and most deservedly so!

What else have we watched - we finished Season 5 of The Crown (Netflix), which was gripping and addictive, particularly as we’re now in the era we remember. I wasn’t convinced by all of the cast changes but Imelda Staunton as the Queen and Elizabeth Debicki as Diana were very convincing. We’re also re-watching the last season of Succession (Binge) so we’re ready for when the final season drops in a few weeks!

Wearing/using

LUSH’s latest shower gel Sticky Dates which smells like toffee and vanilla. Perfect for autumn, I love it!

Jeans, for the first time all year.

Quote of the week

Courtesy of some hard rubbish that was on our street! It felt poignant and poetic, and like a sign from the Universe.

All we have is now.

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do!

I hope you’re also finding things in your world to savour, that give you joy, that make you think and smile.

Please note: this blog post has affiliate links with retailers such as Booktopia which means I may receive a commission for a sale that I refer, at no extra cost to you.

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this week, and the ones before

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Hello friends! This will be quite the catch-up post, as last week’s was, so do get a cup of tea and make yourself comfortable.

I can’t believe it’s December and in a matter of weeks, another year will be over. I don’t think I’m alone in eagerly anticipating the fresh start that the first of January promises (but admittedly doesn’t always deliver) as this year has been harder than most. I am ending it a different person than I was at its beginning. I think I’m tougher, wiser, more resilient, and less afraid and naive. Those are very good things and I’m grateful for the hard-won lessons, but I’m still looking forward to seeing 2022 in the rearview mirror nonetheless!

This post is going to be a mash-up of the highlights of the past few weeks since we returned from Melbourne, and then on Friday we’ll be back to regularly scheduled programming….she says hopefully.

Favourite experience/s

Probably this amazing news, sharing it and celebrating it with some delicious Bream Creek vintage sparkling wine, as pictured above! This year I’ve really tried to push myself with my writing, put myself out there and really back myself. This has been incredibly hard to do at times, in the face of everything that Tom and I have had to deal with this year. But I also did not want another year lost to imposter syndrome, where I believed my critics (both inner and outer) over the quiet but fierce inner wisdom, encouragement and truth in my own heart. Perhaps I needed reminding that I’m on the right path. To have achieved this incredible feat, and several others, in spite of everything has been so wonderful, so needed and so encouraging.

I’ve also enjoyed hanging out with my nieces and nephews - one I took to a kids session at Frida’s Sip and Paint where we painted this Eastern Rosella together:

And I also enjoyed getting a much-needed haircut!

Reading

To be honest, I’ve been writing more than I’ve been reading - which is probably a good thing. I had a fantastic workshop with my fellow Creative Writing PhDs last Friday, so spent some time reading their work and prepping for that.

I’ve been rereading an old favourite, Tina Fey’s Bossypants, which is still great fun and I enjoyed noticing its subtle influence on The Latte Years, as I originally read it around the same time. It was such an inspiration for me in how to write about the harder, darker things with humour. I’m enjoying revisiting it, especially as we’re now rewatching 30 Rock, probably the greatest TV show ever made.

For our last Hidden Nerve session, Nigel read us a poem by Claire G. Coleman, “Forever, Flag”, which I saved to read again later - it’s quite astonishing and powerful.

Sophie Cunningham was another Hidden Nerve presenter and I borrowed her book Melbourne from the library as I’m very interested in the work she’s done in the psychogeographic space. Loving it so far!

I’m nearly finished with Olivia Yallop’s Break the Internet, which I’ve enjoyed more and more the deeper I’ve got into it, and am now into Johann Hari’s Stolen Focus, recommended to me by many readers and friends. I’m coming up to almost a year since I spontaneously decided to step away from social media. I’m now managing an Instagram account for a client, so I’m just using theirs, not my personal one which I haven’t even glanced at. But it was interesting to observe in myself the familiar itch that resurfaced almost immediately - the itch to check, scroll, see. It is very helpful to just be using it for work and have a hard boundary. Johann Hari’s book is making the excellent point that the problem with attention, focus and our ability to think deeply goes beyond social media and into the Internet itself and all its trappings - email, smartphones, screens.

I will write more in depth about this in due course but having been off social media (with my personal accounts at least) for nearly a year now, I can say with absolute certainty that it’s done something to my brain. I have my brain back, perhaps. I am a more productive (dare I say a better?) writer without it. I have achieved more and feel more balanced without it. I have observed that I still seek (and desire) external validation at times and feel a bit sad/deprived when I don’t get it, but it is so much easier to spot when I’m in that frame of mind now, rather than it simply being my default position because I felt constantly in a state of comparison with others. It’s been a very, very interesting experiment.

Listening to

I discovered the Stella Anning Trio while we were in Melbourne - I love gentle jazz and their album Stat is a wonderful moody soundtrack when sipping your herbal tea (or something stronger) in the hour or so before bed.

How to Fail: Rob Delaney on the death of his beloved son Henry - listen to this if you need a good cry but also to marvel at how bloody resilient people can be in the face of the unthinkable.

Best Friend Therapy: is back for another season, so every Monday when I walk to or from uni I have a new episode, hooray! This week’s episode on how to work with friends was very relevant and gave me a lot to think about.

The First Time: Masters Series with Heather Rose - her new book is on my Christmas Wishlist!

Writes 4 Women: Writing the Second Novel with Holly Ringland - yay Holly! Loved this candid and inspiring interview with a wonderful writer who happens to be a friend too.

Mummafication: Another interview with a good friend of mine, this time parent educator Katie Parker which had me grinning with pride as I listened. Relevant even if you’re not a parent, FYI.

Happy Place: Dawn O’Porter and Tim Minchin - enjoyed both but I especially liked Tim’s, as he really delved into the harder parts of the creative life, and convincing yourself that you are worthy even when you aren’t getting attention. He is so unapologetically himself but it has taken quite a while to get to such a comfortable place. Worth a listen!

You and Me Both with Hilary Clinton: Hilary interviews Hannah Gadsby - loved it. I especially enjoyed hearing them talk about Tasmania (Hilary has apparently never been) and nodding furiously along as Hannah described how Tassie used to be and how it’s changed for the better. I am proud that Tasmania now has some of the strongest human rights protection laws in the country, quite a contrast to how things used to be for the queer community. Hannah is always a delight to listen to and the banter with Hilary is just wonderful.

Eating


As usual, there’s quite a bit to catch you up on here - I’ve made and eaten some very delicious things!

When it was very warm a few weeks ago (the promise of summer that promptly vanished within 48 hours and was replaced with a fortnight of rain and 3 degree nights!), I made this incredible Bún Chả Giò Chay (Vietnamese rice noodle bowl with spring rolls) and I want you to try it so much I wrote out the recipe! It’s the perfect dinner on a hot day.

I highly recommend getting the Fix and Fogg Smoke and Fire Peanut Butter for the sauce if you can find it. Not only was it magnificent in the noodles, I have also had some with avocado on toast which was quite sensational. A must for the chilli lovers. If you’re not in Oz or NZ, looks like the folks at Fix and Fogg ship worldwide! (and their recipe section is pretty epic and everything sounds amazing!)

We had a friend round for dinner and I made a new recipe from a favourite cookbook The Green Roasting Tin - the crispy gnocchi with mushrooms, squash and sage (p.68). I didn’t make the basil dressing but instead thinned down a bought vegan pesto with lemon juice and olive oil, which worked just as well. It was so very delicious! I have bought more gnocchi this week with the intention of making it again.

My new favourite bought dip is the signature Tahini Neri - a friend served it to me in Melbourne and I was delighted to find it in my local Hill Street Grocer when I got home (we often don’t get everything the mainland gets!). It’s so unctuous and savoury. Almost better than hummus, but not quite.

Speaking of hummus, I finally made hummus with dried chickpeas rather than tinned. I know, how can I possibly call myself a foodie? Every cookery writer I love and revere has waxed lyrical over the years of the incredible difference it makes using dried chickpeas to make hummus but being lazy and short on time I had never bothered. That will never happen again. I am here to tell you that the rumours are true. DRIED CHICKPEAS FOR THE WIN.

It was the best hummus I have ever had. The Tom of hummus, you could say! 😉

I used the OTK cookbook recipe which had very detailed instructions which included adding ice cubes to the food processor. I used an organic Woolworth’s tahini. It was simply magnificent. I will always make it this way from now on and urge you, if you are hummus lover, to set aside some time and make it with dried chickpeas. It will change your life!

I soaked a whole packet of dried chickpeas because, in addition to hummus, I also made felafel from scratch for the first time that week. I made the spicy felafel recipe in Deliciously Ella’s Quick and Easy. While they were absolutely scrumptious, I am not a fan of frying things in oil - mostly because the house stinks afterwards. They were absolutely worth the effort, almost as good as Pilpel’s in London, but I might try them in the air fryer or oven next time.

By the way, chickpeas start to stink when they’re soaking! I didn’t know this and freaked out, worried that they’d gone off because it was quite hot that week. Don’t panic, apparently it’s normal. I had them at room temperature for the first two days but then put them in the fridge until I was ready to make the recipes. All was well, everything was delicious and both Tom and I are still alive, with perfectly working digestive systems!

We ate in restaurants every day while we were in Melbourne, which was wonderful but it’s definitely more a treat than a regular thing for us. I’m keen to see what delights Hobart has to offer us this summer, as we definitely curtailed our eating out once the borders opened this time last year. A firm favourite so far is The Salty Dog on Kingston Beach, where we had a delicious lunch a few weeks ago. We had tempura cauliflower, enoki mushroom and black rice bowls (and a side of chips), sitting in the sun with cold beers while the salty ocean air drifted towards us on the light breeze. Heavenly!

I don’t make sweet breakfasts very often but we had some leftover porridge from Friday’s breakfast, so that Sunday I made leftover porridge pancakes, which I served with coconut yoghurt, maple syrup and slices of fresh pear. Yum!

My oven runs very hot - I should have taken this out five minutes earlier….still delicious though!

I bought Celebrate: Plant-Based Recipes for Every Occasion while we were in Melbourne, and have already made the summer greens filo pie twice (the benefits of having spinach and silverbeet going wild in the garden). It’s absolutely delicious! The first time I made it as written, the second time I left the broccoli whole and upped the spices a little more. I think it will be a staple for us over the summer now we have so many greens that need using and eating!

Now that it’s warming up, our favourite meal of last summer, the Nacho Average Nachos from Charity Morgan’s amazing book Unbelievably Vegan, is back on the menu. Regular readers will be familiar with these by now! Always amazing.

I helped Dad prune his broad beans and he gave me some - mine are still a month or so away from being ready - which I cooked separately, skinned and then cooked with cavolo nero, lemon zest, garlic, chilli and herbs, which we enjoyed with spaghetti, topped with toasted breadcrumbs.

Finally, I started road-testing some recipes for my Christmas baking and came up with these incredible vegan Oreo brownies. I’ve already published the recipe, that’s how good they are! Seriously, if you love a good brownie, you need these in your life. With a batch or two of these and Nigella’s vegan gingerbread, that’s my festive season sorted!

Picking

The garden was overgrown with greens - rainbow chard, silverbeet, spinach, celery and garlic scapes - when we returned from Melbourne. I’ve now given it a major haircut so the sun might actually reach the poor zucchini seedlings.

I’ve also made a tower out of discarded motorcycle tyres (thanks to a local dealership who let me help myself) to grow potatoes in, and the first green shoots are starting to poke through. I read a book over the winter that suggested growing potatoes this way can yield a harvest of up to 50kg….we shall see!

I also picked the rhubarb (which I have growing in a tub) and I made a yummy crumble from that. The major crop of strawberries are starting to redden and we’ve had to put cages on top of the troughs again to keep the greedy birds away. They get their revenge by throwing dirt out of other pots, ignoring the strawberries I have deliberately left unprotected for them to help themselves to! 😜

I’m not sure how abundant this summer will be, as I didn’t have the most productive spring in the garden, due to illness and constant work! But I am hopeful. Time will tell.

Drinking

Tom, our brother-in-law and my dad have started their own brewing company and their first limited release dropped last week. It’s a really delicious, complex and refreshing pale ale, perfect for a blazing hot afternoon like the ones we’ve enjoyed this weekend! I’m very proud of the three of them for taking something that was just an idea thrown around at a family gathering a year or two ago and making it a reality! Our company designed the labels and logo too.

After we got home from Melbourne, I cleaned out the fridge and found some kombuchas I made in January…2021! I made them with a SCOBY kindly given to me by Sarah (sadly the SCOBY has long since been composted due to my neglect!). The incredible pop when I opened them was quite ferocious, as they’d been sealed and fermenting for the best part of two years. Thinking they would be undrinkable, I poured a little of each into a shot glass, sniffed and sipped - and they’re OK! Quite strong, as you’d expect, but I’ve been enjoying them in a large wine glass where I put a splash of kombucha in the bottom and then top it up with plain sparkling water. Not unlike how you’d prepare a cordial. The elderflower and ginger one has matured particularly well.

Watching

At Tom’s insistence, we watched Monty Python’s Holy Grail and Life of Brian on BluRay, which I hadn’t seen for many years, probably not since I was a teenager (and hadn’t liked them that much). This time I really got the humour - most likely a side effect from being with Tom for 15 years, haha!

We have just completed a watch of the entire series of the US version of The Office which we absolutely loved. I read an interview with Jenna Fischer who said that the fact that the “documentary” wrapped up when Pam was ready to leave Dunder Mifflin, as opposed to any other characters who came and went in the course of the series, was not lost on her. I agree, I think on this rewatch I realised that Pam is very much the central character of the show, rather than Michael Scott, as it very much follows her journey.

We’re now working our way through probably our favourite TV show of all, 30 Rock, which we’ve not watched properly for nearly two years. It’s smart, charming, well-constructed and absolutely hilarious.

Wearing

The weather has been pretty mercurial so I’ve been wearing my denim jacket (which I bought from Sainsbury’s in 2014!) almost every day. It goes well with dresses or my favourite skirts from Kemi Telford. I’ve also been loving my new strap detail cross body bag from Country Road - I was fed up to the back teeth with my giant tote where I can never find anything so treated myself while we were in Melbourne. This is a surprisingly roomy and very stylish little bag which is not a headache to lug around, in fact I barely notice it’s there. I wish I’d downsized ages ago!

Grateful for

My husband and family. Good friends. The weather finally warming up and the colds we’ve had finally being on the run.

Quote of the week

This poem by John O’Donohue was mentioned a few weeks ago in an email newsletter I subscribe to, which sounded familiar. Then I noticed in the “on this day” feature that OneDrive has that I had taken a screenshot of the poem on that same day two or three years ago. A coincidence? Maybe. But the message of the poem was obviously fitting for the time and it is certainly fitting now! If you need to hear it, may it comfort you as it has comforted me these past few weeks.

This is the time to be slow

This is the time to be slow
Lie low to the wall
Until the bitter weather passes

Try, as best you can, not to let
The wire brush of doubt
Scrape from your heart
All sense of yourself
And your hesitant light.

If you remain generous,
Time will come good;
And you will find your feet
Again on fresh pastures of promise,
Where the air will be kind
And blushed with beginning.

- John O’Donohue, from From To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings. Penguin Random House, 2008.

I am hoping, so hoping, that the air of 2023 will be kind and blushed with beginning. For all of us.

If you’d like to share your thoughts on anything in this post, or anything else, with me, then please do! I really enjoy hearing from you. I hope you’re also finding things to enjoy, savour and ponder over your weekend xx

Please note: this blog post has affiliate links with retailers such as Booktopia which means I may receive a commission for a sale that I refer, at no extra cost to you.

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my favourite podcasts for inspiration, motivation + courage

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Photo by PhotoMIX Ltd. from Pexels

Photo by PhotoMIX Ltd. from Pexels

As a freelancer, podcasts are one of my favourite ways to get out of my own head and gain some wisdom and advice. If you work by yourself, like I do, it can be a valuable way to feel connected with others and conversations that are happening in the wider creative community.

When I’ve spent a long day at the desk and feel I’ve been going nowhere, I’ll take a break and go for a walk to stretch my legs and get some fresh air - and I’ll usually pop on one of these podcasts to give me some inspiration, comfort, renewed energy or a different perspective.

Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert

This podcast is a few years old now (recorded in 2015 and 2016) but I’m so grateful it’s still online because every single episode of it is gold and balm for the creative soul. If you loved the book Big Magic, you must listen to this wonderful podcast.

The premise behind it is that, around the time her book Big Magic was released, Liz Gilbert - who surely needs no introduction, certainly not to readers of this website! - put out the call to artists all over the world to write her a 200-word essay about what they were struggling with creatively, whether it was fear, writer’s block, disappointment, or anything in between. Liz then picked half a dozen or so people to appear on the podcast who she encourages on their creative path, to move beyond their fears and find their joy in creativity again. She gets a few guest stars in to help as well, who are all very knowledgeable, motivating and empathetic. No matter what creative field you work in, you’ll find inspiration, comfort and the courage to carry on.

Phil’s picks:


Hashtag Authentic

This is a wonderful podcast featuring interviews with a wide variety of creative people, sharing their journeys and insights into authenticity, whether it’s online, offline or in your work (often all three). I am particularly drawn to women who share their journeys of emotional resilience and there are plenty of them among the guests of this podcast!

Phil’s picks:


How to Fail with Elizabeth Day

I don’t think you can go wrong with any episode of this excellent podcast if you want some reassurance that absolutely everyone - especially anyone who is considered a “success” - has experienced failure. Usually soul-crushing, life-altering failure. But often it’s that big failure that set them on a path that they wouldn’t have found themselves on otherwise.

Phil’s picks:

Dear Sugars

Oh, how I loved (still do) and miss this podcast! Hosted by two magnificent writers and human beings, Cheryl Strayed and Steve Almond, this is an advice show podcast where the Sugars deal with all manner of human emotions and experiences, from the dark and murky to the simple “make the call” variety. Always enlightening and hopeful, and a reminder that empathy is one of the greatest human traits. New episodes are no longer being made but their archive is well worth trawling through.

Phil’s picks:


But wait, there’s more

And just in case your “Listen Now” section isn’t long enough after this post, here are some other favourite podcast episodes that I’ve often replayed depending on the day, mood and what I needed to hear!

I’d love to know - what are your favourite podcasts to listen to when you need a boost of courage or inspiration?