heavy in my mind like a ripe pear

“As for my next book, I won’t write it till it has grown heavy in my mind like a ripe pear; pendant, gravid, asking to be cut or it will fall.” - Virginia Woolf

My PhD novel has been growing heavy in my mind for nearly 20 years.

Its shape has shifted, then shifted again. Then again. And then again once more.

I think it’s ready, asking, to be cut now. But if instead it falls from the branch it has clung to for all these years, I hope it lands in a pile of soft dry grass, where it will be safe from the hungry parrots who have been feasting on fruit still on the trees. Where it isn’t left too long to be picked up, still fine to eat, with perhaps only a tiny bruise or two from the fall to be cut away.

Worse case scenario, maybe it will be scooped up with all the other windfalls and be made into a lovely crumble.

I lit my first fire in the house last week. Picked figs, rhubarb, runner beans, iron-rich greens so dark they are almost ink-black. Made yoghurt. Failed at making yoghurt. Wrote and wrote, deleted, despaired, then wrote again.

The pear will be cut, or it will fall.

tomatoes and third drafts

When I think about the current state of my novel (is it even a novel anymore? That’s a question for another day!), these words of Henry Miller spring to mind:

“I had to grow foul with knowledge, realise the futility of everything, smash everything, grow desperate, then humble, then sponge myself off the slate, as it were, in order to recover my authenticity. I had to arrive at the brink and then take a leap in the dark.”

Meanwhile, it’s now the start of autumn in Tasmania, which means tomatoes are ripe and plentiful. My parents came round today with a crate for me - they drove to a pick-your-own-farm half an hour out of the city where these beauties were a steal at $2 a kilogram.

I washed and chopped several kilograms of them and was reassured that, even though my mind is a constant whirl of what the fuck am I doing with this novel or whatever it’s turned into and how is this ever going to work, if I put tomatoes, onions, garlic, thyme, oregano, basil, wine and stock in a slow cooker, put it on high for four hours and walk away, I will come back and it will have turned into a thick, rich and delicious sauce. There is also now an open bottle of wine.

writer at work

Last year, I was the grateful recipient of a Residential Fellowship at the Katharine Susannah Prichard Writer's Centre in Perth, Western Australia. I spent two weeks there last August working on my PhD novel. You can read all about my experience here. You will see I still enjoy using the marathon as a metaphor all these years later. But, I argue, it is most apt. In the months that have elapsed since my return the parallels between the two experiences have amplified. I am definitely at the point in the race where it is, as writer Fiona Kelly McGregor put it in A Novel Idea, “a matter of stamina, of technicalities, and of getting the job done.”

Also, Perth in August is lovely! Balmy warm days, expansive skies and an awesome annual secondhand charity book sale that frankly would be worth flying back for each winter, providing one brought an empty suitcase…which I did not.

Onya Magazine: The Best Vegan Eats In Melbourne

My sweatshirt really says it all ❤️ (Naarm is a word in the Woiwurrung and Boonwurrung languages of the Kulin nation which is the Traditional Place name for Melbourne).

Continuing on from my best Sydney vegan eats article earlier in the year, Onya Magazine have just published a follow up - the best vegan eats in Melbourne, the city of my heart. So if you were wondering where we ate and what our favourites were on our last few visits, here they are!

Honestly, I would walk (well, I’d also have to swim some of the way too, gulp!) back to Melbourne for some of the food we enjoyed last time we were there. The city has some incredible plant-based places that are truly exciting, indulgent and very, very delicious. Everything you want when you’re on holiday and feel like spoiling yourself!

The oyster mushroom “calamari” at the Green Man’s Arms, Carlton. Exquisite! Even Tom (who normally hates mushrooms) dug in!

Rereading the article has made me very hungry and wish we could just hop on the 86 tram and head up to Red Sparrow or Brother Bon for dinner tonight. Hopefully our next visit isn’t too far away…

Writers for The Voice

You may or may not know that on 14 October, Australia will hold a referendum to officially recognise Indigenous Australians in the constitution for the first time and give them a say in the policies and challenges that affect their communities.

I will be voting YES. Because, despite what the No camp would have people believe, the question being put forward in the referendum is not problematic or complicated. We are simply being asked if we think the Australian constitution should recognise the First Peoples of this country by giving them some say - the ability to advise - on issues that affect them. How can the answer to that question be anything other than YES?

I have proudly joined Writers for The Voice with over 600 other writers, as well as publishers, literary bodies and festivals, from all over Australia who will be voting YES in the referendum, and who want to see our nation step into a stronger, better and more inclusive future.

There are so many reasons to vote YES but one of the most compelling ones is that it will lead to practical improvements in Indigenous housing, education and health because, for the first time, laws and policies on these issues will have proper input from Indigenous people. There is already evidence that health and education outcomes for Indigenous Australians will improve.

Most of all, the hope, healing and progress that the Voice offers is really a defining moment for this country. We can’t undo the wrongs of the past but this official respect and recognition of our First Peoples is long overdue. It’s time to listen, to unite and to move forward together.

For me, there is only YES. Not only because I would support anything that gives our First Peoples more respect, dignity and agency but this is a remarkable opportunity to step up and be the nation I believe we are, to move towards genuine hope and reconciliation. I am no political scientist but I am a historian (in training) and whether we like it or not, history repeats unless we actively break the cycle and embrace change. The past has so many dark lessons that we can choose, as a collective, to learn from. We cannot change the past, but we can work towards changing the narrative of our country. This is a moment history will remember. It’s a turning point, a precious chance for true dialogue, based on recognition and respect, to begin.

I think Professor Marcia Langton said it best:

“In this referendum, there are only two options: a ‘Yes’ vote that delivers recognition through a voice and all the hope and healing is represents...or a ‘No’ vote which binds us all closely - all of us - to a broken status quo.”

— Professor Marcia Langton AO

The Uluru Statement from the Heart is a gentle and courteous invitation to non Indigenous Australians to walk together with our First Peoples to help secure a better future for them. Why on earth would we say no to that?

The only answer is YES.