weddings

june (in july)

Sorry for the long pause between posts, my friends. It’s been A Time and the month I have to catch you up on feels very far away now!

If I had to sum up June 2023 neatly it would be - joyous, vibrant, fun, varied and but also pretty relentless. We were very busy (and still are!) with limited time to decompress in between work, travel and various other things, but managed lots of fun as well.

The highlight of June was, without a doubt, our second slightly spontaneous trip to Melbourne, the main purpose of which was to attend an incredibly intimate, joyful and colourful wedding. I’m sure most of you will recognise the bride - if not, she is my Melbourne sister and old blogging friend, Ashley! She was radiant in a cloud of peach tulle and a floral headdress, both of which she made herself. The dress code for the wedding was “maximum dopamine: wear whatever makes you happy” and Tom and I needed no encouragement to bring out something bright and eye-catching!

A friend took this photo with a Snapchat filter….my makeup wasn’t that flawless in real life. Nor was Tom’s, haha.

It was lots of fun taking the train to the wedding, all colourful and dressed up! The dress code for the hen’s night (which was on the day we flew in!) was also colourful, so yet another opportunity for me to wear my favourite Keshet jumpsuit.

The wedding was on a perfect, glorious early winter’s day - the sun shone, the piles of leaves twinkled in the golden light, and a full moon rose over the city like a blessing. I’m so glad we could be there to celebrate Ash and Michael!

Reconnecting with Ash has been a wonderful part of moving home. She has always inspired me, for different reasons at different times in our lives. These days, she inspires me to live boldly, to be generous, to let people be who they are, to be brave and take up space, to indulge my creativity and express myself without fear, to be audacious and live with joy. I love that, after all these years, both our stories are still being written.

The rest of the visit was just about enjoying Melbourne, and seeing some wonderful friends we hadn’t managed to see the week before. We felt like absolute jet setters compared to just two years ago when Tasmania’s borders were closed to all and sundry. We even went to our first live gig since the pandemic (not counting MONA FOMA, which was all outdoors) - the Nadav Rahman Trio at Jazz Lab in Brunswick, which was simply outstanding. The trio blended jazz with other styles quite effortlessly - soul singer Jag joined them for a few songs, likewise hip-hop artists Thamson P and Tumi the Be who were mesmerising. Their other special guests included Ethopian jazz legend Nhatty Man and kora player Amadou Suso. I honestly felt like I was in Addis Ababa at one point, I felt utterly transported by their incredible music. What a treat!

With our dear friends - and I just noticed what’s on Tom’s bag. Hilarious! 😂

Mostly, we just loved being with our friends who feel like family, eating good food, shopping till we dropped, going back to favourite restaurants and bars where they recognised us from the last visit (!), and just soaking up the great vibes of a city we both adore. Thanks to our two recent trips, Tom and I both feel like we’ve got to know Melbourne properly again. It felt like our city again - we embraced its energy and found our place in it. We felt at home there in a way neither of us has felt for a while.

Having said that, we were also deeply relieved to get home to Hobart! We are still recovering from the hectic, high stress, constant cortisol life we had in London (family, friends and delivery people alike are highly amused by how we keep everything LOCKED at all times!) and so we do find the busier, more crowded aspects of a giant city a little jarring at times, much as we love a change of scene and energy. After four days of Melbourne’s crowds and general busy-ness, the smell of the pure, clean air that blew into our faces as we walked off the tarmac at the airport, freezing as it was, was a tonic. There is no place like Tassie. It suits us down to the ground for where we’re at right now. And now that life has pretty much returned to how it was before, we can finally, perhaps, get to know and enjoy Hobart in the same way we enjoy Melbourne. We had barely begun to explore and find our feet in it when the pandemic swept in just over a year after we arrived. Adventures don’t have to be saved for a trip interstate, we’ve realised.

OTHER LOVELY EXPERIENCES IN JUNE

We were too busy with work to get out to any of Dark Mofo this year, but enjoyed seeing Hobart glow with red lights, as has become the custom.

As mentioned, there wasn’t a lot of down time once we returned from Melbourne (hello simultaneous client and PhD deadlines!) but I managed to get to a Women’s Circle gathering one Saturday afternoon, which was amazing and much needed. The leaders, two young women from Sydney now living in Tassie, showed up for us so generously and wholeheartedly, taking us through qi gong, yin yoga, 1:1 eye gazing, yoga nidra and some other deep connection practices. Three hours of filling the well, catching my breath, of being still. It was glorious.

And just when I thought nothing could top the experience, at the end one of the young women leading the circle came up to me and said “you wrote The Latte Years, didn’t you?” which was completely unexpected and made my day. I think both of us were in a bit of disbelief! I was completely floored that, seven years on, someone would still be thinking about my book and the impact it had on them, let alone recognise me. It still kind of blows my mind that anyone other than my friends and family bought and read it! She said some really kind and beautiful things to me, which I folded away into my heart to bring out again when courage runs low. I have wondered many times over the years if publishing that book was the right thing to do. But in moments like that one, I know that it was. It’s a book that needed to exist and I’m glad it does.

Reading

I didn’t do a lot of reading in June - almost everything was exclusively PhD related, unsurprisingly! But I did read a handful of amazing books when I wasn’t chained to the computer.

I don’t think I’ve ever read a book about mental illness that’s as compelling as Anna Spargo-Ryan’s A Kind of Magic. It managed to be hilarious one moment and utterly heartbreaking the next - full of pain and confusion yet somehow uplifting. There is a lot of misunderstanding and misinformation out there about mental illness - so much so that those suffering from it have to become experts so they can advocate for themselves and have any hope of appropriate treatment. This book is the author’s attempt to show what it’s really like to live with the ‘constant chaos’ of it. It’s a real page turner, beautifully written and strikes just the right note between raw and hopeful.

Madeleine Dore’s excellent I Didn’t Do The Thing Today was another of my June reads, recommended by Kate Mildenhall when I did an online class with her in May. I really liked how the book focused on encouraging the reader to think less about how to get things done and more about what things are worth doing (to you), using lots of wisdom from the great thinkers of history and quite a few contemporary intellectuals too. Worth seeking out if you’re feeling like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew and are a bit overwhelmed by All The Things.

Tom also got me Maira Kalman’s The Principles of Uncertainty for my birthday (among a veritable pile of other books!) which I read in June and it was as delightful as everyone says.

Vulture: ‘Poor, Odd Nate’, Nick Mohammed ends three seasons of Ted Lasso with a friendly debate about his character - we rewatched the entire series of Ted Lasso in June and I really loved hearing Nick Mohammed’s take on things. I found Nate much more sympathetic on a rewatch than I did watching it live!

Women’s Agenda: Succession’s tragic take on women and leadership - I enjoyed this and agree, gender doesn’t explain everything about Succession’s ending but it does explain some of it!

Too Fat To Run: founder Julie Creffield has sadly closed down this wonderful movement but in this very articulate and highly relatable post, she explains why. It reminded me a lot of my reasons for stopping Skinny Latte Strikes Back.

State Library of New South Wales: Novelist Michelle Cahill brings a marginalised character back to the centre - a fascinating-sounding novel and novelist! I was particularly intrigued by Cahill and her interviewer Neha Kale’s discussion of Virginia Woolf and how the exclusion of non-white women from A Room of One’s Own (a “sacred cow” of white feminism) points to “a persisting violence in Woolf’s legacy”. I’ve just ordered Hood Feminism as I really want to learn more about this.

The Guardian: I smell a whiff of 2000s fat-shaming in the air. If you’ve never spoken out against it, now is the time by Rebecca Shaw - a very timely and important read.

Listening to

A client of ours is a local musician and I spent a lot of June helping him with a project, and had his debut album (yet to be released!) on for inspiration on repeat in the background. I can’t wait to help spread the word about it once it’s out - it’s a real beauty.

Another Winchmore client (and friend!), Mezz Coleman released her third single from her upcoming album in June, and it’s stunning.

I am addicted to the Bad Sisters original soundtrack by PJ Harvey and Tim Phillips - it’s perfect for writing dramatic, juicy, slightly macabre scenes.

The Mel Robbins Podcast: The ‘Let Them’ Theory, Happiness is an Option for You: 4 Easy Habits That Make Your Life Better Based on Research and 4 Simple Ways To Stop Giving A Sh*t What People Think

The Garret: Pip Williams on writing commercial historical fiction

How to Fail: Diana Evans on writing routines, dealing with her inner critic and living life to the fullest

Best Friend Therapy: Co-dependency and Perfectionism

The Great Creators with Guy Raz: Jason Sudeikis: His Winding Path from the Basketball Court to SNL, and how Ted Lasso saved him

Eating

Pumpkin curry with tofu - I was amazed to learn that if you boil tofu cubes for a few minutes, it gives it a texture similar to paneer, YUM!

A stir fry based on our favourite “Mostly Greens” from Veggie Bar in Melbourne, made with Tasmanian-made tempeh which is absolutely delicious.

I made Jamie Oliver’s chickpea and leek soup, to which I added my usual flamboyant twist - in this case, pink peppercorns.

Deliciously Ella’s harissa tofu wraps - I treated myself to her Feel Better app for my birthday and there’s some great recipes on there. This is one of our favourites so far.

Anna Jones’ broccoli on toast - seriously delicious! It makes a lovely light dinner too if you fancy something a bit more posh on toast than cheese or a can of baked beans.

I bought a bunch of beetroot at the Farm Gate Market so was looking for unusual ways to use them - I made a beetroot hummus (from the Feel Better app) and a surprisingly good beetroot pasta (I used cashew cheese instead of feta).

As I mentioned in my last post, I picked up one of my favourite Youtuber’s cookbooks while we were in Melbourne and the first recipe I made from it was the lemongrass coconut tofu which was sublime!

Drinking

My brother-in-law gave me this chilli gin to try - I loved the spicy warmth of it but at 58% proof, I could only manage half my glass of a double shot with tonic before I felt completely sozzled. That’s what cutting back on your drinking does to you! But highly recommended regardless, especially for a Tasmanian winter. It was delicious.

Watching

Bad Sisters (Apple TV+) - Tom and I got into this in a big way and chewed through the entire series very quickly. I’m a sucker for anything with lots of sisters in it (obviously), and this one was fabulous, despite it containing extremely dark subject matter (which, even though I enjoyed it very much, still kept me awake at night). The first episode opens with the funeral of John Paul (aka The Prick, as the Garvey sisters refer to him), husband of Grace. We’re not given much information at this point, only some hints that his death might have been suspicious. As we’re introduced to Grace’s four sisters - Eva, Ursula, Bibi and Becka - it becomes apparent that no one is that devastated about John Paul’s passing. It turns out that John Paul thoroughly deserved his nickname - he was a controlling and cruel narcissist who was emotionally and physically abusive to pretty much every woman in his life, especially his wife, daughter and sisters in law.

As the story unfolds cleverly in two timelines - six months earlier and the present - we see each of the Garvey sisters reaching breaking point with John Paul’s cruelty and manipulation, not just of their sister Grace but what he dishes out to each of them personally. I think the only way I was able to stomach and enjoy the series was knowing that karma eventually got him! Each of the sister’s attempts to help Grace and talk to her about her husband achieves nothing, and the four sisters decide, separately and eventually together, that the only way out is murder. And we know, thanks to the opening scenes, that one of their many, often misfired, attempts to kill him succeeds. The question is….whose?

Unfortunately for the sisters, a few other people suspect the death was not an accident. Desperate to not have to pay out a life insurance policy that will bankrupt his firm, somewhat hapless agent Tom Claffin and his attractive and less hapless brother Matt start digging into what happened. Their antics bring some much needed comedy and lightness to the story!

It’s brilliantly written, acted and shot, with a killer (sorry) soundtrack that I can’t stop listening to. I will definitely watch it again at some point…but maybe not at night!

Ted Lasso (Apple TV+) - we had watched the entire series as it was released over the past few years, but we decided, as we enjoyed the finale so much, to binge watch the entire thing again in June and boy was that a great decision! I think it’s one of the greatest TV shows ever made. The perfect thing to watch and unwind with when you’re busy and stressed. It’s so rare to see a show like this that turns traditional masculinity on its head, that’s about the importance of emotional intelligence, forgiveness, vulnerability and curiosity (as opposed to judgement). I think it will be one of those shows I will watch and rewatch forever.

Wearing

I went a bit crazy in ELK’s Melbourne CBD store and make no apologies for it. Their clothes are colourful, gorgeous to wear and ethically made - what more could you want? I have barely stopped wearing this dress and this jumper since our trip. I also got a top from Variety Hour, where all the clothes are handmade in Melbourne. Love!

I also got these high-top sneakers after lusting after and attempting to recreate some of Rebecca’s outfits on Ted Lasso - obviously I could never afford the Armani ones she wore, but these were a great alternative! I love the extra height they give me (I’m already quite tall) and they work with dresses and jeans alike.

Quote of the MONTH

“Stop measuring days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence.” - Alan Watts.

But also….

“Revenge is a dish best served in a novel.” - Helen Ellis

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! Lots to tell you about JULY too, which I can’t believe is nearly over, and which I will try and do sooner rather than later. Trying to remember an entire month of stuff, nearly two months later, has been a bit of a test for my usually excellent memory. I’m sure there’s loads of stuff I’ve forgotten!

I hope you are well, safe and happy, wherever you are xx

Please note: this blog post has affiliate links with retailers such as Booktopia which means I may receive a commission for a sale that I refer, at no extra cost to you.

this week

Mrs Hunt’s Cottage, Maria Island. Picture by Tom!

After a pretty rough past couple of weeks, this one has been really good for the soul.

We went to a family wedding up on the east coast, and you can’t help but feel happy at a wedding, surrounded by love! This one was particularly sweet and romantic, and it was lovely to see some people I haven’t seen for ages. We decided to make the most of being in the area and took a day trip to Maria Island - a place I had never been, and was utterly blown away by. It was one of those places that is truly magical, that pictures and words will never do justice to. If you ever visit Tasmania, it is a must do. We’re already planning a return, but staying longer!

I had also forgotten the profound impact that a change of scene can have on your mood and outlook. We’ve barely left the house since the borders opened and I hadn’t appreciated how much we needed just a little break in the routine. It has been a literal and metaphorical gust of fresh air!

Favourite experiences of the week

Maria Island was absolutely spectacular. We haven’t stopped talking or thinking about it! The ferry from Triabunna was a breeze - though I highly recommend booking as far ahead as you can. I stupidly left it to the day before, thinking we could stroll up to the marina like we did with Rottnest Island when we visited Perth in 2020 (before covid). It wasn’t a complete disaster but as the earliest and latest crossings were already full we only had half a day to explore rather than the full day. But that’s OK, we’ll definitely be going back!

I just love spending time in nature, and getting up close and personal with adorable wombats was one of the highlights of the visit:

One of about a thousand pictures we took of a mother wombat and her joey, who were totally unbothered by the presence of humans.

A Cape Barren goose in its lush natural habitat.

The lesser-spotted writer of this blog post on the deck of Mrs Hunt’s Cottage (the house in the first photo).

The Painted Cliffs.

A beautiful tree.

I mean LOOK at that water!

It was extremely hard to pick a leading image for this week’s This Week, let me tell you!

With my husband of nearly twelve years! Attending a wedding always makes us feel very nostalgic for ours!

The wedding was also a highlight, because it’s always wonderful to be in the presence of love and joy. Whenever I go to a wedding I can’t help but be overwhelmed with happy memories of my own, remembering the incredible high of it all and how full to bursting with love you feel, not just for your new spouse but for all the people sharing in your excitement and wishing you well. And it’s so wonderful to know someone you care about is having the same experience, and you get to be a part of it. The happy couple were also very blessed with the weather, it was an unseasonably warm and sunny autumn day, and the setting was stunning.

We enjoyed the festivities so much that one of my sisters suggested that Tom and I renew our vows at some point and have another wedding for all the Australian family who couldn’t make it to London in 2010. We’re certainly thinking about it!

Looking forward to

Another upcoming wedding, this time of a dear friend. Another dear friend visiting Tassie soon. Finishing the introduction to my thesis. Potentially another trip to Maria Island before the end of the season!

Reading

The Writer Laid Bare by Lee Kofman - I’ve just started this and just want to tell every writer I know to buy a copy and read it ASAP. Incredibly insightful and relatable!

The Practical Australian Gardener by Peter Cundall - I plan to make good use of the Easter break and get some jobs in the garden done as the fruitfulness of autumn is starting to wind down.

Bigger than Us by Fearne Cotton - a lovely book I dipped into each night at bedtime, about intuition, connection and “finding meaning in a messy world”. Some really beautiful reminders to trust the Universe a bit more and to stay open rather than close down when life gets tricky.

Sydney Review of Books:  Plath Traps by Felicity Plunkett

Poetry Foundation: Sylvia’s Table by David Trinidad

Listening to

The Shift: Marian Keyes on menopause, Botox and learning to be shameless - I particularly loved this quote from Marian, “Other people’s anger and judgement is utterly survivable and, ultimately, it’s not even important.” I also enjoyed the follow up with Marian which aired last month.

Now You’re Asking, with Marian Keyes and Tara Flynn: The High School Problem and The Co-Dependency Problem, both enjoyed while gardening. I love this podcast, Marian and Tara are so kind, encouraging and understanding with their answers to problems sent in by listeners (apart from the idiot who wrote in saying that he had cheated on his wife and now didn’t understand why she didn’t trust him - their response to that was gold). You might notice that my listening habits tend to reflect the fact that when I’ve really enjoyed an interview with a particular person, I start listening to everything I can find with them in it! I’ll try not to be too repetitive or boring in that regard, haha.

My main writing playlist on TIDAL - it’s so full of goodness, for my writer’s brain at least!

Eating

We made fresh pasta dough with chickpea water and it was utterly amazing. Like, life-changing. I couldn’t recommend trying it more highly!

It seemed to be the week of pasta - I also made a Moroccan pumpkin, chickpea and feta pasta which was delicious.

Lots of hiking and road trip food - energy balls, apples, muesli bars, mini packets of chips.

Today is Good Friday so I’ve procured fresh hot cross buns - as this is the appropriate day of the year to eat them, not on Boxing Day when the supermarkets start selling them! I enjoy a fruit bun as much as the next person but I do think we lose something when something that is meant to be saved for a particular time of the year is simply made available once another major holiday is out of the way, or even all year round as is often the case. OK, I’ll get off my soap box now.

I also thoroughly enjoyed the potatoes with garlic, oil, herbs and preserved lemon at my cousin’s wedding (made by another cousin)!

Picking

The remaining red (or red-ish!) tomatoes and there’s still a few zucchini that may or may not be coaxed into their fullest expression by the heatwave we’re expecting over the Easter weekend. I will also dig up the first potatoes over the long weekend, I think.

Watching

American Beauty - I hadn’t seen this film for many years and we enjoyed it last Friday night. On this rewatch, I found it more funny than I did dark (as I had on previous watchings) and I wondered why that might be so - perhaps it was because I found it rather amusing to watch a privileged white man explode his current life in the pursuit of a supposedly more authentic one. And I agree with Stephanie Zacharek’s take that American Beauty is “a movie from a time when we didn’t know what we wanted. From where we stand now, the dark, buried desires of affluent suburban men and women, no matter how ludicrously they’re presented, seem even a little touching. Maybe that’s partly because our eyes have been opened to the way so many men—unlike Lester, regardless of how you feel about him—have simply taken what they wanted, with no regard to whom they’re hurting.”

Fences (iTunes) - another great film based on an August Wilson play. We saw a clip of this played in Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart and were immediately intrigued. It’s set in 1950s Pittsburgh and centres around a middle-aged garbage collector named Troy (Denzel Washington), a man who appears jovial and charming on the surface but deep down is very bitter about his failures in life and his missed opportunities in professional sport, which were primarily due to being too old for the professional leagues by the time Black people were allowed to play in them. His son Cory (Jovan Adepo) now has the opportunity to go to college thanks to his talent in football, but Troy is dead-set against the idea. Odie Henderson said in his review that “anyone who had a strict taskmaster as a parent will find parts of Fences unendurable” and, indeed, Troy’s brutality and pig-headedness in dealing with his son is hard to watch and ends up driving Cory away. Unfolding in parallel is the revelation of Troy’s infidelity which devastates his devoted, long-suffering wife Rose (Viola Davis) and has some permanent consequences. It’s superbly acted, and very powerful, but we weren’t wild about the ending, which seemed a little neat and sentimental given everything that had preceded it. But worth a watch, for Viola Davis’s performance alone.

Call My Agent! (Dix pour cent)(Netflix) - our addiction to this fabulous show continues, but we only have a few episodes left! I hope they make more!

Wearing

I had at least five people comment on my outfit at the wedding - which was my glorious Keshet jumpsuit, both stylish and incredibly comfortable! The photographer came over at one point and just said “Keshet?” which made us both laugh! They are certainly a distinctive Tassie brand for those in the know. I do want to get some more of them because they are so wonderful to wear.

Quote of the week

“He who jumps into the void owes no explanation to those who stand and watch.” - Jean-Luc Godard

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post with me, please do! A Happy Easter and Pesach Sameach to those celebrating this weekend xx