A flowering gum I spotted on one of my runs over the summer.
The end of summer. The year makes a turn and drives down the road of another season.
A spectacular sunset at the end of January.
I just had a look on my camera roll at photos taken over the summer and, to my delight, it’s mostly Tom and I with our nieces and nephews. Time with them always fills my cup, and I’m so grateful that abundant time with our family is possible - it’s the main reason we moved home. Whenever people ask me if I have children, I reply with “no, but I’m the proud aunt of some wonderful little people” and proceed to bore them with details about our youngest niece’s first day at kindergarten, or the way our 18 month old nephew waits at the window for us when he knows we’re coming to visit, or a sleepover we had with our teenage niece where we played Mario Kart, ate burgers and chips, watched Pride and Prejudice and talked about everything from our favourite Mecca products to why I wrote The Latte Years (she asked!).
A lot has happened since I last wrote to you. We’ve had some complicated and painful things to deal with - some of which have been going on for years. We had a lot of plans that didn’t quite come to fruition. We’ve had to roll with some quite hard punches. All things considered, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that we got to the end of 2023 quite burnt out and a bit heartbroken. But, as with most things, if I zoom out far enough to get a bird’s eye view, our life is pretty wonderful. We’re doing OK. And, as my new therapist reminds me at the end of every session, we will be OK, whatever happens.
A sunflower I grew from seeds left by a colleague in the tearoom at work. They grew well this summer.
Yes, I started seeing a therapist again a few months ago, which has entailed going back through my history, a task I didn’t particularly want to do but could only avoid for so long. In my work, I constantly grapple with backstories, hidden histories, things people didn’t want or weren’t allowed to say, so the irony of resisting this myself wasn’t lost on me. Therapy has been good for my writing too, I think. We have covered a lot of ground so far, and I feel lighter than I have for some time.
Anyway, please indulge me for the following randomness as a favourite season ends and another favourite (perhaps my most favourite) begins. And thank you to my pal Leonie Wise for the inspiration for the structure of this blog post - her blog is a treasure trove of seasonal lists and inventories. She could make a shopping list sound poetic!
Things I picked from the garden and allotment today // Runner beans. Cherry tomatoes. Silverbeet. Spring greens (a broccoli/cabbage hybrid). Rhubarb. Zucchini, some verging on marrowhood. Rainbow chard. Mint. Lemons. The first fig from my tree.
Things currently on my desk // which desk? I have three! Four if you count the dining table, where I also like to work because of the wonderful light the room gets throughout the day. That’s where I’m writing right now. Pint glass of water, two water bottles. Two cookbooks, a lover’s gift from Tom. A package that arrived earlier for him. Two notebooks, one personal, one for PhD. A pink Lamy Safari fountain pen. My running cap and a little change purse that has my driver's licence, bandaids, a hair tie and lipgloss in, which I took when I went running this morning (fun fact: the change purse was my Secret Santa gift at our bloggers Christmas party in Melbourne in 2006 - I still have no idea who gave it to me). AirPods, laptop and phone. That’s pretty minimalist for me, normally there’s at least seven books.
Favourite song on my run today // Free Yourself by Jessie Ware. Favourite song of the summer // This Land is Your Land by Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings. And This is Home (Bright-Side Mix) by Peter Gabriel. Yes, Tom will be amazed - I like something by Peter Gabriel!
Visits to the beach // the idea of popping to the beach after work on a stinking hot day was a memory I cherished during my years in London. We make it happen as often as we can in the summer, and drive to our favourite one that only locals seem to know. The icy shock of the water as we first step in always surprises me. Then, once you dive in and get used to the cold, there’s nothing more refreshing. I could stay in for hours. Salt water also does something to my hair, maybe what it does to most people’s - as it dries it gets curly and wavy and looks like I’ve spent hours and a lot of money making it look that way. So I will gladly admit I also go to the beach to get beach hair.
Movie of the summer // The Holdovers (but a winter film, set at Christmas!). I also really enjoyed the Super Mario Bros movie and Emily the Criminal. Most overrated movie of the summer? Saltburn. I didn’t get the hype! My 20-something friends all loved it so I guess I’m just not the intended audience. Which is absolutely fine with me.
Drink of the summer // Lychee apple soda at Luna Chan. And any wine made by Bream Creek.
Eats of the summer // so many delicious things! Mostly salads, rice bowls, silken tofu breakfast bowls, summery pastas. I also learned how to make my own vegan melting cheese, thanks to Rose Elliot’s excellent recipe, see below.
Drinking less coffee and feeling surprisingly good on it. I also really like China Jasmine green tea, it turns out.
Working out more. Two strength workouts a week, two runs, one yoga class, and walks as often as possible. I feel really good, and even better about being more structured. I’ve realised recently that I have been putting my health (physical and mental) last for some time. I’m in my early forties now and that isn’t really something I can afford to be blasé about. Life has been very stressful so I’m not beating myself up too much about it, but this year I am determined to prioritise my health, not just for my longevity, energy and future mobility, but I also want to make it to the finish line of my PhD in one piece! I’ll happily talk more on this topic if people are interested. And I’m sure it goes without saying that I’m aware of my many privileges in this space :)
Recipes I’ve loved this summer
Moroccan sweet potato, chickpea and couscous with chermoula - a Hetty McKinnon recipe from her first book Community. I made it for a salad party. More on that in another post (it’s a great story!). But chermoula - where has this been all my life?! It’s so delicious, spicy and addictive and I’ve made it a lot over the summer.
Matt Pritchard’s Dirty Vegan granola
Deliciously Ella’s coronation chickpea sandwich
Ottolenghi’s pearl barley and pomegranate salad
Rose Elliot’s vegan melty cheese from her book Complete Vegan.
Bosh’s potato burger buns (so fluffy!) from their book Bosh on a Budget
Plenty more I’ve forgotten, and made up myself! I have lots of recipe posts in the backlog.
A short and sharp look at how easy it is to make vegan melty cheese at home! It really is very good. I may never buy vegan cheese again.
Cosmos at the allotment.
Things to remember
A lot of people wrote to me after this post - I’ll make it a regular thing! Here’s some little life reminders from my journals and notes on the iPhone over the last little while:
You are loved and worthy, even when you think you have failed.
Let go of the people who have let go of you.
You can be right and still be in a situation where it’s not worth fighting.
Everything is temporary, without exception.
Aim for work-life harmony rather than balance, because work-life balance doesn’t exist. Work is a part of life.
Perfect doesn’t exist. Your best is good enough.
Suffering produces endurance. Endurance produces character. Character produces hope.
You are more in control of your happiness than you think and probably allow yourself to be.
“Patience is everything!” - Rilke
I’ve stayed away from my blog for months, not just because I’ve been seriously overwhelmed, stressed and had no time in my diary or room in my head for another box to tick, but I’ve also been feeling conflicted about posting content that feels frivolous and out of touch with all the horrific things going on in the world. But then I read this quote from Nick Cave:
“These are perilous and urgent times. This is not the hour to sit around moaning about the condition of the world — leave that to the posturing inhabitants of that most morbidly neurotic of spaces, social media — and nor is it the moment to fruitlessly wait for inspiration to find us. It’s time to get to work, to reach up and tear the divine idea from its heavenly cradle and proffer it to the world.”
Thank you to the people who have written to me over the past six months to make sure I’m OK - I am, and it means a lot that you care. I plan to make up for lost time and blog every day in March, so let’s see how long that lasts! xx