this week

How small we are compared to the vastness of nature.

I found myself pondering paradoxes, contrasts and dualities this week - how we think things are compared to how they actually are. How on Monday morning I read The Guardian in bed with a coffee, shaken at the news of rising inflation and cost of living, the likes that have not been seen for 30 years in this country; and then headed to work at my desk, where my inbox was overflowing with click frenzy sales for items I didn’t need from merchants I suppose I must have given my email address to but whose wares I have no use for at this point in time. Conflicting messages from every direction. How hard it can be to keep one’s head amongst it all.

I also thought about how being back in Tasmania has warped time for me, in some respects. I am not the 24-year-old who left, though many people treat me as though I am. As though a pause button was somehow pressed (where is it? How do I find it?!), as though everything that has happened to me over the past seventeen years happened to someone else. Oddly, sometimes my life does feel like it did then, as though it is yet to really get going. But unlike when I was actually 24, there’s lots of promise and potential, that I try to maximise at every opportunity. I was therefore surprised to look up the details of a Young Tasmanian Writer’s Fellowship and discover that I didn’t qualify - in fact, the cut-off for me qualifying was age 30, well over a decade ago! That was a real jolt back to reality, that even though I feel I’m very much still on a journey and don’t feel that different to who I was in my twenties (just wiser and less tolerant of bullshit, I’d say), the world seems to think I should have it more together by now! I honestly forget how old I am a lot of the time. I’m smiling as I write this because I know how ridiculous it sounds. Am I really that deluded? Is it the effect of the pandemic, the bizarre melting down of days, weeks and months into time candles that we think we can still light but when we strike the match, we find they’ve already burned down?

I was also reminded of how beautiful Tasmania is, particularly in the winter. A friend and I had an adventure down at the Tahune Airwalk, which I had never been to before, and what a tonic it was to breathe such fresh cold air, revel in the natural beauty of the place, cross the Huon River on a swinging bridge, and be left speechless at the sheer majesty of the trees.

Favourite experience/s of the week

The Tahune Airwalk, by far! It’s tucked away deep in the south west of the state, and we did a lovely hike through it, including two swinging bridges and the air walk itself, which feels like you’re suspended among the extremely tall, majestic treetops. If you don’t like heights, maybe it’s not for you! But I loved the thrill of it.

It moved me greatly to think that some of the stringybarks were there, alive and growing, during the period I’ve been researching and writing about (1820s). These trees well and truly outlived my characters, and they will likely outlive me too. It made me think about how small we are, in terms of the vastness of nature and its incredible power to survive. That even through fire and destruction, nature will find a way to come back. We must take our place beside nature, not dominate it or bend it to our will.

The air was fresh, invigorating and cold from the nearby Hartz mountains, and the Huon River had chunks of ice floating in it. Being winter, the off season, the place was almost deserted and it was such a treat and an honour to practically have it to ourselves.

I shot some video too which I’ll edit together at some point for you all, to hopefully entice you to visit yourselves!

We drove back to Hobart via Geeveston for the famous Masaaki sushi and then another stop at Kingston Beach where we indulged in my favourite post bushwalk treat, whatever the weather - cold beer and hot chips.

Nature, fresh air, a dear friend and chips! The perfect Saturday.

Reading

Island Magazine: Living Poets by Jessica Lim - I too am rereading A Room of One’s Own and am quite blown away by its relevance for contemporary women, so I enjoyed this article very much.

Meanjin: I (re)discovered their What I’m Reading column and enjoyed trawling through the archives during a much needed brain break. I particularly enjoyed James McKenzie Watson, Melissa Manning and Emilie Collyer.

Gwenn Seemel: Making Art When The World Is Ending - “even if this is the conjunction of horrible that actually kills us all (or makes us wish we were dead), I’ll have seen it through by making love tangible across space and time. I’ll have been creating objects that make people feel seen and understood. I’ll have been opening myself and others to new worlds and different ways of thinking, helping people to get outside of their own narrow experience and allowing them to become better and more loving.” YES to all of this.

Annabel Smith: How to Become a Writer with Imbi Neeme - every guest of Annabel’s puts their own spin on the theme and the questions, it’s never the same which is part of the charm! I particularly enjoyed how Imbi structured it. I also liked how Imbi described herself as “a recovering blogger, an impending novelist” which I might borrow to describe myself in future!

Guernica: Sharp Relief - Watching Yoko Ono’s “Cut Piece” post Roe

In terms of books, I’ve been reading a lot of gardening and cookbooks, most of which I’ve borrowed from the library, and I finished Stolen by Lucy Christopher, the YA prequel to her just-released adult fiction, Release, which I’ll be reading next. It’s a dark, brutal but stunningly told story, bringing the harsh beauty of the Australian desert to vivid life, and so clever as to how you, the reader, end up with Stockholm syndrome as the narrator does. I can’t wait for Release!

Listening to

My general “for writing” and “moody dramatic” writing playlists were on repeat as I worked (and reworked!) on a 10,000 word section of my novel to send as part of a fellowship submission (fingers crossed). I also discovered the soundtrack (written by John Barry) to a 1980 film called Somewhere in Time which is actually beautiful to write to.

Best Friend Therapy: Fertility - what’s the reality? How does the language impact us? How can we support each other? This is an issue that has affected so many people I know. Feeling seen, heard and supported is so important. If you need a good cry, listen to this episode - that’s really all I have to say!

The Imperfects: I’m still really enjoying working my way through the archives of this show. This week I listened to Dr Emily, Truth vs Harmony - and boy did this resonate with me!

James and Ashley Stay at Home: This past week, James had his debut novel published! This episode did a behind the scenes look at Denizen and made me even more excited to read it!

The First Time: Masters Series: Liane Moriarty - I had no idea that Liane had written the part of Perry’s mother (in the second season of Big Little Lies) specifically with Meryl Streep in mind, and then got her to play the role! The power of acting ‘as if’! Fabulous.

Winter Nachos

Eating

Rather than a taco mac and cheese with last week’s leftovers, I made winter nachos! Leftover cauliflower stalk and lentil taco mixture bulked out with a tin of black beans and reheated; topped with cashew queso, mashed avocado, raw kale massaged with cider vinegar, pickled jalapeños, vegan sour cream and pickled tomatoes. Bloody delicious if I do say so myself.

Cabbage rolls - pre sauce and baking!

I also made some incredible cabbage rolls (no recipe yet, I saw one in a cookbook that I loosely followed, but not really! I can write up what I did if anyone is interested, as I’ll definitely make this again). I had some leftover rice and so turned that into the stuffing. I flavoured it with spices, green vegetables and herbs from the garden, dried cranberries, chopped almonds and some various bits and pieces lying around. The cabbage leaves were blanched in salted water, left to cool slightly and then I used them to wrap around generous spoonfuls of the rice filling. I topped the rolls with a tin of tomatoes and then baked for about 40 minutes. I didn’t get a picture of it afterwards as we were so hungry, I just served it up without a second thought about a photo! It was such a satisfying dinner but quite light, weirdly. I will definitely make this again, it’s perfect winter food with cabbages in season.

There was plenty of leftover rice stuffing, which we had cold the next day in a Buddha bowl.

Plenty of last week’s vegan banana bread for snacks - I keep forgetting it’s there half the time. Fortunately it keeps brilliantly!

I also made a gorgeous curry with a free Spice Tailor curry paste I got at the supermarket a few weeks ago (I love how Coles sometimes do that!) - I chose the Malabar one and used it to make a curry with potato, cauliflower and spinach, which was absolutely divine. We had leftovers so I added chickpeas to those when we heated it up for dinner a few nights later.

I also made a vat of lentil and walnut ragu - I intended to make shepherds pie at some point this week but was so busy that I barely noticed the sun going down each day, signalling that maybe it was time to think about dinner! So we just ended up freezing some and having the rest with pasta (and then used the leftovers to make a pasta bake, which was also delicious!). I will have to update my 2020 recipe because I have discovered that adding miso to the sauce is a game changer. I would also recommend using a combination of black and red lentils. So good!

Drinking

So much TEA. I made a pot of green tea to keep me going one morning which I really enjoyed and will try to make a habit of. We restocked with our favourite T2s - Melbourne Breakfast, New York Breakfast, English Breakfast, Chai. Bengal Spice after 5pm. Sleepy Time before bed.

Watching

Did you catch my six months off social media video? :)

Snatch (Blu-Ray) - Tom had talked about this film for years but I’d never sat down and watched it with him. A gangster film is never going to be PC is it, but if you can get past that, it’s absolutely hilarious and great fun.

Star Trek Picard (Amazon Prime) - I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this. Star Trek fans such as my darling husband have long celebrated how the various series and movies hold a mirror up to the world we live in now, and I found this particularly so with this series. Some critics said such commentary was “unsubtle” but I disagree - I think the level of hatred, intolerance and dysfunction in our world is such that we can’t really afford to be subtle anymore. I especially loved Ito Aghayere as the younger Guinan (the character Whoopi Goldberg has played in other series) and wish she had been utilised more. When implored by Picard to give humanity another chance and be patient because change takes time, Guinan replies that, as a woman of colour, she doesn’t have the luxury of being patient for change. Picard, on the other hand, as a white man, does. Frankly, I think the world needs more “unsubtle” messages like that!

Wearing

This sweet hat and scarf knitted by my sister’s friend for my birthday. Much needed in these four degree afternoons we’ve been having! My cheeks are almost as pink as the hat and scarf, aren’t they?!

I’ve also been enjoying these deliciously warm Tradie Lady socks. I found them at the supermarket and they’re better than slippers.

Proud of

Tom for rocking his first class as a UTAS tutor!

My sister who gave me the hat and scarf, for many reasons.

A dear friend who has raised her son, my godson, alone and continues to meet every challenge of solo parenthood with grace and fortitude.

Myself, for being brave and applying for something that felt like a real stretch. But I refuse to let another year pass where I let imposter syndrome get the better of me.

My father, for giving a beautiful speech at his best friend’s wake.

Quote of the week

“He who is brave is free.” - Seneca. This one is for you Bob xx

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! I hope you’re also finding things to savour and ponder, that give you both pause and joy.

this week

Is spring just around the corner?

I don’t know where the last week went either! It’s proving to be quite a good practice to take some time to reflect on what the week has actually held, otherwise I run the risk of them all blurring into each other and forgetting all the small, sweet things, the little pockets of joy. The things that might seem inconsequential at the time but later I’ll be pleased weren’t lost.

I also enjoyed doing a little ink painting of my blue jug of pink tulips.

Favourite experience/s of the week

At the risk of sounding like a complete nerd, I did enjoy my annual review on Wednesday. The enthusiasm and support for my PhD project at my university is beyond anything I could have hoped for and always spurs me on. Which was a good thing, as I had to spend the rest of the week preparing my exegesis draft for my supervisors to read. I felt oddly scared sending that to them on Friday evening - more scared than I’ve been sending them creative work. Is it because, ironically, I am taking more risks with the exegesis, putting myself out there that little bit more? It was an interesting thing to think about and energy that I hope to transfer over to the creative work too.

I also loved my Hidden Nerve lecture on Thursday evening, which was given by Amanda Lohrey. It’s not often that you get to hear thoughts on the craft and pearls of wisdom from a writer of Amanda’s stature (though she was my lecturer for one of my undergraduate units 20 years ago, and I so wish I had been more aware of what a great writer she is back then!) so my hand could barely keep up as I tried to scribble down everything she said. The first thing she said was that there are absolutely no rules in writing - “except don’t be boring. But even that is problematic and subjective too!” she laughed. The overriding message I took away from everything she said was that every book is a gamble, reading is a deeply subjective experience and therefore you can only ever really write for yourself. Write the book or page that you find interesting.

Reading

Last week’s bedtime reading was The Bloomsbury Cookbook which, while fascinating, gave me some very peculiar dreams one night which I didn’t fancy a repeat of (!), so I have switched to some favourite spiritual books on Kindle over the last week, which get my mind into a peaceful space before sleep (always advised). I’ve been reading What Helps: Sixty Slogans to Live By, Coming Home: Refuge in Pureland Buddhism, and Just As You Are: Buddhism for Foolish Beings, all by Satya Robyn whose writing is the equivalent of a soothing hand on the brow.

I started reading one of my Persephone books I bought in London - Random Commentary by Dorothy Whipple, who I am a huge fan of and on the pleasures of whose work I have waxed lyrical many times before. As I suspected, I’m finding it fascinating and so very entertaining. This week’s quote of the week is from this book.

Sydney Review of Books: In The Garden with Amanda Lohrey (preparation for this week’s Hidden Nerve!)

LitHub: Winning the Game You Didn’t Even Want to Play

Bustle: What Do We Owe Each Other?

I feel certain I read more than this but, to be honest, the week has passed in a blur of writing and rewriting my exegesis, cutting words, putting them back in, switching things around and trying to entice some order out of the chaos!

Listening to

My “writing beats”, general “for writing” and inner winter playlists were on repeat, as well as a lot of blues, for some reason. Alabama Shakes was in there a lot, particularly this song. Nick Cave and Ludovico Einaudi were also constant companions, but that’s pretty standard!

Best Friend Therapy: People-pleasing - why do we do it? Is it really nice to be nice? How do we say no? Hooray, this podcast is back with another season and yet again delivers some profound and illuminating messages. I had to stop the washing up, take off the gloves and press rewind and listen to one section several times over, such was the power of what Emma had said.

The Imperfects: Glenn Robbins - Listening To The Voice In Your Head - I listened to this last week and loved it so much I listened to it again! I’m also halfway through the episode with Dr Emily, The Pesky Hedonistic Treadmill.

Vegan Sunday Roast

Eating

We had a delicious Sunday roast - I used up a box of vegan stuffing I bought sometime in 2020 when I was looking for things in the supermarket that would last a long time if indeed we were at the beginning of the apocalypse. The stuffing was made and then wrapped in puff pastry with some piquant sun-dried tomatoes. To accompany the roast, we had roast potatoes, sprouts and boozy carrots (carrots cooked in foil in the oven with white wine and herbs). I made enough for a crowd so we had leftovers on Thursday night when we were both working until late, which was nice as it felt like someone else had done the cooking - well, Past Phil had!

Creamy roast pumpkin risotto

There was also a delectable roast pumpkin risotto which has almost overtaken tomato risotto as my favourite this winter. It tastes so creamy and indulgent.

Vegan banana bread - made in the new air fryer!

Sticky crispy cauliflower, which I served with fried rice - I really didn’t expect this to work, seeing it was baked in the oven. But it was brilliant, and the cauliflower pieces were beautifully crisp!

Cauliflower stalk and lentil tacos - I used broccoli and cauliflower stalks (and cauliflower leaves) for this recipe and subbed kidney beans for the lentils - very delicious and no waste! We had these in wraps with cashew queso, which I’ve made many times this year. Totally planning a taco mac and cheese with the leftovers!

Picking / growing

Winter greens are going strong in my mostly dormant garden. Spinach, chard, celery - the latter is particularly abundant. There’s a little kale. The garlic shoots are coming through. The lemons on my tree are starting to turn yellow. I have also spotted some nettles which I’m allowing to grow wild and which I’ll turn into a nettle soup at some stage over the next few weeks.

Watching

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Blu-Ray) - Tom’s choice! Not normally my sort of thing but I didn’t hate it. A plot full of highly improbable things but good fun! Fast-paced, stylishly shot and Simon Pegg was a real scene stealer and kept things lively.

C’mon C’mon (iTunes) - Mike Mills is one of our favourite directors and his latest didn’t disappoint! Shot in black and white, which naturally invites you to pay close attention (a theme of the film), this film follows the story of Johnny, a radio journalist whose current project is travelling around the US interviewing children about their lives and their opinions on the world and the future. One evening, in his hotel room, he randomly calls his sister, who he hasn’t spoken to since their mother died. It turns out Viv, his sister, needs his help - she has a young son Jesse whose father, her estranged husband, is mentally ill. She needs to try and get him into treatment and asks Johnny if he could come out to LA to look after Jesse for a few days. Those few days turn into a few weeks and, under pressure from his boss to get back to work, Johnny ends up taking Jesse back to New York with him temporarily. Johnny has spent a lot of time with children in his work but finds it’s a very different ball game being completely responsible for one, something he isn’t quite prepared for. He both marvels at Jesse and the way a child sees the world, and also finds caring for him 24/7 very frustrating. It’s a typical Mike Mills story in that it appears remarkably quotidian on the surface but there’s actually a lot going on. Mills’ oeuvre is very much centred around child/parent relationships and with this film, it takes a wider look at how children and adults relate to each other. With every scene, we are brought further and further into each character’s world, inviting empathy which I think is very much the message of the film. That and children are far, far wiser and observe much more than they are given credit for. I also love how intertextual Mills’ films are - there’s always part of a text (or several texts) read aloud that then informs your understanding of the characters’ cultural influences.

Quote of the week

“I’m not lost any more. I know what I have to do with my life. I have to write.” - Dorothy Whipple

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! Stay well xx

this week

A favourite corner of my living room, especially around 4:30pm this time of year, when the light is fading, necessitating candles and fairy lights.

Didn’t I just do one of these?! Does anyone else feel like the weeks are flying by at the moment?

Let’s get to it!

Favourite experience/s of the week

A pre-paper selfie I took for my friend in Melbourne sending supportive “go get ‘em!” texts - I don’t look nervous but I was!

Despite all of the nervousness leading up to it, I actually loved giving a paper to my UTAS colleagues and fellow HDRs at lunchtime today. It’s so funny, I know that I know my material and I always feel such a buzz afterwards. I even enjoy it while I’m doing it, dry mouth, racing heart and all. But the lead up to giving a paper is always excruciating for me. What am I so afraid of, that I’ll go completely blank and be rendered speechless? Or that there will be a technical malfunction that my peers will use as an excuse to tease and humiliate me? In my brain’s defence, that has happened to me before, but only once and I was 13 years old at the time which was the best part of 30 years ago now (what?! That can’t be right). It was a very scarring experience, but perhaps it’s time I stopped giving those memories so much power. I find giving a paper regularly is the best remedy for getting over my stage fright. I also discovered an excellent podcast this week that really helped (see the Listening section).

My darling husband also bought me some flowers because he was proud of me, which was so sweet. I love having flowers in our home.

I also loved seeing my family on Sunday for a belated birthday gathering - which felt very strange, because my birthday was at the end of May (while we were in the UK) and now it’s the middle of July! But whatever, it’s been a weird year. Mum made my favourite dip (hummus) as the centrepiece for her usual amazing spread and a delicious cake, and my nephew and niece helped me blow out the candles. It was lovely!

Reading

Bedtime reading is The Bloomsbury Cookbook which I’m finding fascinating. If time travel were possible, one of my choices would be to attend a pre-WW1 Bloomsbury Group meeting - what a bunch of characters they were. Though I daresay I would have become infatuated with the wrong person and had my heart broken - it seems to be a common theme so far!

Also related is Square Haunting: Five Women, Freedom and London Between The Wars which I am loving - it’s both a pleasure read and very relevant to my research, because I too am exploring ideas of female subjectivity and self realisation in relation to place. I’m focusing on colonial Hobart and Sydney, but I really admire how Francesca Wade has structured this and it’s given me lots of ideas. It’s absolutely fascinating so far!

I finished The Missing Ingredient by Jenny Linford, which was a birthday gift from a dear friend in London. It was such a thought-provoking book about the role time plays in creating great flavour in food. And you might be surprised by the kind of food that responds well to a bit of extra time taken - jam, for example! It was a really interesting read that I enjoyed dipping in and out of. And it made me wish I had read it before we went back to the UK so I might have sought out some of the products mentioned (not that we had much time for shopping in the end!) - but there’s always next time!

The Village by Matt and Lentil Purbrick - I borrowed this from the library as I’m missing my vegetable garden (which is currently asleep for winter) and wanted to get some inspiration and ideas for spring planting. I’m excited to plant some companion plants this year, like marigolds and Queen Anne’s lace, which will hopefully distract the pests! I have also learned my lesson and will PLANT EARLY this spring! I can't wing it here like I used to in my London courtyard. If you want some inspiration for your home veggie patch and living more sustainably and in a more community-minded way, this is a great book to get you started!

The Guardian: Growing up trans in country Australia by Candace Bell

Open Book (State Library of New South Wales): On literary merit by Kerryn Goldsworthy

The Offing: Fourteen Ways of Looking by Erin Vincent

BBC News: We found a baby on the subway - now he’s our son - get tissues for this one!

The Audacity: Knee Deep by Sandy Silverman

Listening to

My “writing beats” playlist which is perfect for client work, editing, writing emails, writing blog posts and also getting psyched up before giving a paper! It’s also great “getting ready to go out and party” music, not that I do much of that these days!

Lots of affirmations this week too on Insight Timer, the meditation app I have used for the last six years. I hit 1900 consecutive days this week which is a bit scary…in terms of how many years that is, but in days it doesn’t seem like that long.

My inner autumn playlist was on repeat.

WILD with Sarah Wilson: You are weird! Here’s the scientist who can explain why

The Imperfects: Glenn Robbins - Listening To The Voice In Your Head - I loved this interview with Glenn and the message felt particularly resonant for me this week. Glenn spoke candidly about how he has battled performance anxiety and nerves for pretty much his entire career, and how he has learned to listen to the encouraging voice in his head rather than the one that tells him he isn’t good enough. It got me through this week and the nerve-wracking thing I had to do! This is my new favourite podcast, all about resilience and vulnerability, and I can’t wait to listen to the back catalogue!

The Full Vegan

Eating

Have I introduced you to The Full Vegan yet? This is a brunch meal that Tom and I started making in January when we accidentally went vegan and enjoyed it so much we’ve kept it up (like many things I decided to do over the summer!). It’s avocado toast, hash browns made in the air fryer, baked beans, sautéed mushrooms - those are the Big Four (even though Tom isn’t a fan of mushrooms, their vitamin B12 make them a great vegan food so he has a few!) and then we usually add some seasonal greens, maybe vegan sausages if we have them in. A blob of ketchup, a glass of orange juice and The Full Vegan is complete. It is absolutely delicious. And so hearty and filling, I honestly don’t miss eggs, halloumi or any of the other things we used to have for brunch at the weekends before. This week’s Full Vegan had no avocado but extra mushrooms and sautéed sprouts (very good!). We also got a new air fryer at the weekend because our old one completely died the weekend before, which I was very grumpy about - but all the grumpiness dissipated when Kmart suddenly got some stock in of the one I’d had my eye on! It’s an upgrade every sense of the word!

Spinach, risoni and lemon soup - recipe here

Bread in the bread maker!

I also made a giant pot of my favourite soup which was delightful - I hadn’t made this soup for ages, possibly not since last winter. It’s so comforting and tasty. Alas, my local grocer was out of fresh dill so I made this batch with tarragon instead. It wasn’t quite the same and I missed the dill (in my top 3 favourite herbs for sure) but it was still amazing!

We had a friend round for dinner at the weekend and we had a vegan cheese platter to start (delicious) and for main course I made the fennel, walnut and sun-dried tomato pappardelle from Special Guest by Annabel Crabb and Wendy Sharpe, a book on whose brilliance and delicious recipes I have waxed lyrical before. I didn’t have pappardelle so used orecchiette instead, and it was just as good as using long pasta! I have also made my own vegan Parmesan which is pretty delicious too - I’ll write up the recipe soon.

I also dusted off our old bread maker and made a loaf in it for the first time in a while - and the house was filled with that utterly divine smell of bread baking. It was a lovely loaf with good structure, it held up well for toast all week. I enjoyed it so much I might set it going tonight so I can wake up to the smell of fresh bread! I also bought some more of my favourite Maggie Beer Seville marmalade this week….so I don’t see that I have a choice but to make more bread, frankly.

Watching

Not much this week. More Parks and Recreation (Netflix) because after some long days, I just needed some escapism and I so enjoy this show. And also The Babysitters Club (Netflix) - the last pure thing on earth. Wonderfully entertaining, enough nostalgia for me to enjoy it but updated to be inclusive, fun and modern. I adore it!

I can’t remember if I mentioned it - jet lag is real and I’m only just feeling back to normal - but we rewatched Frances Ha (we bought it on iTunes and also own it on Blu-Ray) a few weeks ago, and I adored it as much as I did when we first watched it. Greta Gerwig is one of my favourite directors and writers, and I think her work has only got stronger in recent years. I can understand why some people might find Frances Ha overrated or frustrating to watch...especially in 2022, a film about privileged 20-somethings trying to get to grips with adulthood seem to be ten a penny. But in 2012, I think it captured something. I loved it and still love it, even though my twenties were quite some time ago now! I think the film spoke to me because I was a bit of a late bloomer myself and, as long time readers will know, my own twenties were a time of great transformation and flux. I was both Frances and Sophie in some ways - I floundered for many years, and then steamed ahead and people felt like I'd left them behind. I think the movie captures that melancholy and resistance to change quite well.

Quote of the week

“Because you are alive, everything is possible.” - Thich Nhat Hanh

Thank you Jo for inspiring this weeks’s quote!

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! Stay warm, or cool, wherever you are, and I’ll look forward to chatting to you again next week…which I’m sure will be here before we know it! xx

this week

A few of my favourite books by First Nations writers!

This week has been NAIDOC Week in Australia - a week to celebrate and amplify the history, culture and achievements of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. It’s something I have started to really look forward to over the last few years. As someone who spent over a decade away from Australia, the small changes are very noticeable to me. When we were catching a connecting flight on our way home from the UK a few weeks ago, the Qantas boarding gate in Perth had “Naarm, Wurundjeri Country” as the destination as well as Melbourne, which made me quite emotional and proud to see. I’m not suggesting for a moment that there isn’t far, far more progress still to be made but I have noticed many changes in the time I was gone, particularly more acknowledgements of Country, which makes me feel hopeful that things are moving in the right direction.

You won’t be surprised to hear that I like to mark NAIDOC Week with literature! I have many favourite books by First Nations authors, as pictured above, so I always make a point of rereading some in NAIDOC Week, and discovering some new ones. Anita Heiss, one of my favourite writers, has an excellent recommendation list on her blog and my personal recommendation is Anita’s book Am I Black Enough For You? which I think is essential reading for all Australians. It’s not only funny, wise and insightful, it makes you challenge and think deeply about your own assumptions about what it means to be Aboriginal in Australia today. She has just released a tenth anniversary edition of the book too which my friend Kim has just reviewed on her blog (side note: Kim is an excellent reviewer and I have bought so many books because of her reviews!). But in short, if you have not yet discovered Anita Heiss and her brilliant books, I am envious! I’ve been a fan for about 20 years, since she was a guest lecturer in one of my undergraduate units. Fabulous then, fabulous now! I’m so excited to see what she writes next.

I was also excited to see that Clothing the Gap have an Ally Friendly section - as someone who wants to be a good ally, I often wondered if it was appropriate for me to wear clothing like this and most certainly didn’t want to cause offence if it wasn’t. I’m grateful to Blak businesses like Clothing the Gap who make it easy for us to show our support. In their words: “when we see Aboriginal designs in the world, it means we’re not invisible in the landscape. It makes us feel seen and heard.” I’m looking forward to wearing an Always Was, Always Will Be shirt and hope it’s a starting point for some important conversations.

Favourite experience/s of the week

Apart from seeing all the NAIDOC Week activities? And Boris Johnson’s resignation?!

Starting a business with my husband, which we’ve been talking about for years.

Reading

To mark NAIDOC Week I started another read of Larissa Behrendt’s novel After Story, one of my favourite books of 2021. Beautifully written, with so many wise and insightful observations about life, loss, trauma, connection and family, I think it’s just fabulous.

Sydney Review of Books: Re-Mystification: Adele Dumont on the Writer Laid Bare by Lee Kofman. Such a great article about a book I have been savouring slowly and enjoying very much. Dumont writes: “One of the things I love most about Kofman’s writing is her suspicion of fashions. She questions popular writing maxims, such as ‘show don’t tell’, and is critical of students’ over-use of dialogue, which she attributes to the influence of film. She believes social media is damaging our brains: ‘when not petty or nasty then nice, saccharine, friendly and chit-chatty daylight of our online interactions encroaches on the silent, dark spaces within us’.” OH GOD YES. I have so much I want to say about this. On Sunday it will be six months since I last used Instagram or Twitter. Six months. I have so much to say, mostly about how I feel I have my life back. It’s extraordinary.

Also from SRB - Snail Trails: Jessica White on Gentle and Fierce by Vanessa Berry - two writers I love! I also attended a writing workshop with Jessica White a few weeks ago which was so refreshing and fun. It got me thinking about nature and sensory detail in my writing, and being more conscious of which of the senses I automatically tune into when I write (sight and taste, interestingly).

Eating

Dave Grohl’s bad-ass lasagna got made and eaten for three dinners - I screwed up the homemade pasta dough so it was a bit chewy, but I didn’t mind! There’s no such a thing as a bad lasagna, am I right?

Chilli non carne from Linda McCartney’s Family Kitchen cookbook that I picked up in the UK - delicious!

But everything pretty much had lentils and beans in it this week…if you are a vegan or vegetarian, you’ll understand what I’m saying here.

Nigella’s vegan gingerbread is still going strong, by some miracle (though we are down to the last few pieces now). It has only got stickier and more delectable with the passing days. A friend came round for a chat this afternoon and I served her a slice. The look on her face after she took a bite was of utter bliss. “This is so good it’s almost sexual,” she said. I wholeheartedly concur.

This is the film poster I remember being everywhere when I was a child! [source]

Watching

Parks and Recreation (Netflix) - enough said. The perfect comfort watch. Ben reminds me so much of Tom! And apparently, I have Leslie’s sweetness, quirkiness and ambition but not (too much of) her scary intensity, haha!

Strictly Ballroom (Blu-Ray) - OMG, where do I start with this film? My friend Nigel Marsh has a wonderful podcast called The Five of My Life and one of the five things he asks his interviewees about is a film that has profoundly affected them. Nigel, if you ever interview me (sorry for the spoiler!), this is the film I’d pick.

I have seen this film so many times but on this viewing on Saturday night (of the Blu-Ray Tom surprised me with for my birthday), I sobbed in a way I’ve never done on a previous watch. Perhaps I just needed a good cry, I don’t know. But for a film that is 30 years old next month, it has lost none of its emotional punch. I still think it is so powerful, moving and relevant. Some critics may deride its simplistic, predictable story and Baz Luhrmann’s style of filmmaking, but Strictly Ballroom (his first) is a masterpiece.

I may write more about it to commemorate its 30th anniversary, but in short, Strictly Ballroom is a beautifully-realised film about wanting to express yourself and follow your creativity, rather than get lost in the world of external validation, awards and “shoulds”. “A life lived in fear is a life half lived,” Fran tells Scott and that is the thread that runs through the entire story, as it slowly becomes obvious that so many of the characters are ruled by fear and how diminished they are as a result.

I saw this film when it was released in the cinema in 1992, age 11, and I just loved the costumes and the romance of it all - the deeper messages were possibly lost on me. Only when I rewatched it in my early twenties did I realise that my own life was entirely governed by fear. All my decisions had been made from that place. Like so many characters in Strictly Ballroom, I was so afraid to be myself and take chances. I can’t tell you what an influence this film has had on my life, albeit probably subconsciously, in giving me the courage to go after things I really wanted and, instead of half-living, to start creating the life I really wanted to live.

The story of how Baz Luhrmann struggled to get the film made in the first place (go to the Production History section) is also very inspiring.

Quote of the week

This is a poem from Ellen Van Neerven’s marvellous collection Throat, one of my favourite books of 2020. The image is from Jonathan Shaw’s excellent blog. Jonathan wrote a wonderful review of Throat and analysis of this particular poem which I highly recommend checking out.

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post with me, please do! Stay tuned for another exciting weekly update soon xx

this week

Tempus fugit baby! I couldn’t resist snapping this in the Kensal Green Cemetery when we were in London a few weeks ago.

Time flies, and never more so than when you are jet-lagged! Time has taken on a strange quality since our return. Case in point, I had a phone call earlier in the week from a tradie, organising a time to come around.

“Is this Thursday any good?” they asked.

“July the seventh? Yes, that’s fine,” I said.

“No, this Thursday - June the thirtieth,” they replied, to my embarrassment. I honestly didn’t know what day it was. I still don’t, really!

I’ve always found coming to Australia harder in terms of jet lag and adjusting to the time. At least I’m no longer wide awake at 3:30am every day - that got old very quickly, especially seeing I had to present a paper at a conference on one of those days! It really is a miracle that I was coherent.

Unsurprisingly, the minute my conference was over I was hit with a little cold - cough, congested nose, the usual. We took RATs and they were all negative. So the past week has been all about laying low and taking things slow. The cold seems to have passed now and I’m back to wanting to hit my 10,000 steps a day and Do All The Things.

I really am gobsmacked that Tom and I have managed to dodge COVID with our international trip, Dark Mofo and my conference. But we have taken, and will continue to take, every precaution, regardless of the fact that there are hardly any mandatory ones in place anymore. I’m not convinced that’s a good thing but I know I’m in the minority on that score. I guess time will tell!

And as for the other terrible thing that’s been in the news this past week, I echo the words of Ann Friedman:

“My dominant feeling is still anger but lately the rage comes in flashes that punctuate an overall mood that I can only describe as ‘shrug’. It’s settled over me like a thick blanket. I’m just letting the algorithm autoplay. I am skimming the headlines but not clicking the articles. I’m sending some expletive-laden texts but mostly I’m annoyed. I’m tired. I’m resentful of having a body that’s capable of getting pregnant. Whatever. How can I feel both of these things simultaneously? Such hot rage and such deep resignation? Screaming, but also shrugging?

…I’ve been preparing for things to be so much worse my entire reproductive life. And many, many people in this country have long been living the so much worse future that some of us have the luxury of dreading. Despite the demanding emails and blaring alarms of this moment, it’s not a departure or a regression. It’s a continuation.”

Ann’s weekly newsletter comes highly recommended by me, FYI.

Favourite experience/s of the week

Being reunited with my family - those unaffected by COVID at least - who I’d missed very much while we were away. It was particularly wonderful to see our two-year-old niece again, who had grown and progressed a great deal in the five weeks since we’d last seen her. She performed a play of The Three Little Pigs for us, and then got Tom to join in as the Big Bad Wolf, which was so adorable - though he definitely adopted aspects of Negan from The Walking Dead in his portrayal, which was hilarious! I was crying with laughter.

Several cups of tea on a sunny afternoon with a good friend, with whom I could decompress from the trip and some various other things that I won’t be able to write about for some time, if ever. Oh, how I look forward to my old age and being able to write a give-no-fucks memoir! In the meantime the “careful or you’ll end up in my novel” sign I have on my study door will suffice.

Making the submission deadline for a journal I’ve wanted to write for for at least ten years, if not more. The theme for one of their upcoming issues had my name written all over it so I felt I had no choice - overseas travel, stress, jet lag and imposter syndrome be damned! I had a half-finished draft of something I started writing in 2016 sometime that I thought had a kernel of goodness in it. I ran with the original idea but completely rewrote it. I had my usual crisis of confidence on the final read through, but pressed send on the submission anyway. There is nothing quite like the hopeful feeling that follows putting your hat in the ring. “If you’re not failing, then you’re not trying,” my lovely brother-in-law reminded me of last weekend. If they say yes, fabulous - life goal unlocked. If they say no, I have a somewhat decent story I can send somewhere else. Whatever happens, I tried. It’s a good feeling.

Reading

Anita Heiss: Five quick Qs and writing tips from author Kathryn Heyman - Anita’s blog is one of my favourites and I particularly enjoyed this interview, especially Kathryn’s answer to the fifth and final question. Start small. Lower the bar.

Oliver Burkeman: The news [is not equal to] your life

The Guardian: “He died in his 30s living the life he had dreamed of” - I can’t wait to see this film, which has just been released in the UK. I hope it gets a showing somewhere in Australia!

The Audacity: Why Are You Stranded? by Nicole Zhao

The Age: Scott Morrison’s downfall marks end of Howard-era ascendancy - seeing we left Australia less than 48 hours after the election, I’m still getting used to the idea that we have a new PM (thank goodness!) and I’m catching up on all the commentary. This is by Richard Flanagan who, as always, is right on the money.

Wintering by Krissy Kneen - I bought this book last spring but was saving it for winter, and it didn’t disappoint! I tore through it greedily in a few days. I sometimes grow weary of the Tasmanian Gothic trope so prevalent in our literature but there is a reason it works - Tassie, particularly its remotest parts, can be very wild and unnerving. It’s the perfect place to set a domestic thriller, really. I really enjoyed this book, set in a familiar landscape in a town not too far from where I grew up; the creepy shack and the ‘widows’ Jessica befriends when her boyfriend goes missing; the quite clever and haunting symbolism. If you like books set in Tasmania and you’re after an absorbing winter read, I highly recommend this!

Listening to

WILD with Sarah Wilson: Julia Cameron, how to live The Artist’s Way

The First Time: Masters Series: Michelle de Kretser

Better Reading: Catherine Deveny on honesty, dyslexia and being an ‘arts tradie’

And thanks to Glastonbury, we’ve been playing some of our favourite acts all week - Jessie Ware, Pet Shop Boys, Primal Scream, Wolf Alice, Crowded House and of course Macca!

I also discovered this incredibly soothing album of Bach keyboard concertos which I’ve had on repeat all week - so much so that Cyprien Katsaris almost knocked Ludovico Einaudi off top spot for my most-played artist on TIDAL in June. But not quite! Ludovico had the edge thanks to that 17 hour flight from London to Perth - he and Nils Frahm were the only reason I got any sleep!

Eating

It’s been such a treat being in my little kitchen again! With many new cookbooks and lots of ideas from our travels, I’ve had lots of fun cooking this week. It’s definitely, and subconsciously, been a week of spice.

This is a Sri Lankan style jackfruit curry - I found I’d somehow acquired four cans of jackfruit in my pantry and was keen to use it up. Cooked low and slow for two hours, the jackfruit becomes meltingly tender and takes on a similar texture to pulled pork (not that I’ve ever tried that, so I’ll have to take peoples’ words for it). I loosely followed this recipe but put my own spin on it - I added diced sweet potato and frozen green vegetables, and instead of sugar I diced half an apple that I had leftover from porridge that morning, which cooked down beautifully and added sufficient sweetness. I also used Kashmiri chilli powder instead of cayenne pepper. So I can’t claim this was authentic or even that close to Dini’s original recipe but it was so delicious! I even made the roasted curry powder. We ate this over several nights and I think there’s still some in the fridge…

I also made the cauliflower, cashew and coriander soup from Rachel Allen’s most recent book, Soup Broth Bread which Tom got me for my birthday. I could happily have soup for every meal, especially this time of year, and this one was particularly delicious. It gets its fluro-yellow colour from the hearty tablespoon of turmeric! Perfect for keeping winter colds at bay. I daresay I’ll make this again but I might swap half the cashews out for yellow split peas next time, for more fibre!

I made Nigella’s vegan gingerbread which is as sticky and delicious as it was when I made it at Christmas, but the deep spicy flavours feel more appropriate for colder weather! It is one of those bakes that only improves with time and so every time we cut a square to have for elevenses or with an afternoon mug of Bengal Spice, it’s even stickier and more moist than it was the day before. At Christmas, I think it lasted a few weeks. I can’t see it lasting that long this time, to be honest! It’s so good. Vegan or not, if you love gingerbread or ginger cakes, you need to make it.

Only I would attempt something like Dishoom’s house black dal with jet lag - but it was completely worth it. I couldn’t find deggi mirch chilli powder so used Kashmiri, and it was fine. I also added a lot more tomato paste and used vegan alternatives to butter and cream, also fine, if not better. It takes hours and hours to cook but if you’re home anyway it’s not that big a deal - you just have to remember to go back and stir it every now and then, and also ignore the old sock smell of cooking lentils. But once you’ve made it, you’ll be rewarded with so many delicious dinners and lunches, especially if you double the recipe as I did. And if you find yourself with a small amount left, not quite enough for a meal on its own, you can turn it into a spicy tomato soup with a tin of diced tomatoes or passatta - which I did for lunch!

Watching

Dr Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (Disney+) - a Marvel film rarely disappoints (I still don’t know what they were thinking with Eternals?!) in terms of fun and escapism, and we both really enjoyed this one. The first Dr Strange movie is one of our favourites in the entire franchise so this had a lot to live up to. I missed the grounding wisdom of Tilda Swinton’s Ancient One and think it needed an equivalent character, as things did get a bit loopy. But still enjoyable! My favourite scene was with the Illuminati - if you’ve seen it, I’d be curious to know if you agree!

Obi Wan Kenobi (Disney+) - I’ll watch anything with Ewan McGregor in it. And I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this, as I find Star Wars as a whole quite hard to get excited about (mostly because it all goes over my head!). The acting in it is quite brilliant, particularly from the children.

Man vs Bee (Netflix) - a surprisingly compelling show, we watched all nine episodes in one sitting (they’re only about 12 minutes each, admittedly) because each one ends on a bit of a cliffhanger. Rowan Atkinson plays Trevor, a recently divorced man who needs both a home and job - he finds both by house and dog-sitting for a wealthy couple who are off on holiday. The designer house is full of priceless art and the dog has a very particular diet and routine. Add to that, Trevor is a tad obsessive about things - we learn that he got fired from his job at Asda due to a supposedly “evil trolley”. So when a mischievous bee flies into the house and Trevor can’t rid of it, you just know disaster is afoot! I was surprised by how enjoyable this show was, and by the twist at the end. Highly recommended!

Quote of the week

“Anything worth having has its price.” - Joan Didion

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post with me, please do! I hope you’re well and finding things to enjoy and savour too xx